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As most of you know, my two oldest kids have been a PITA. Our family is an adoptive one, and they came to us old enough to not quite make that lower level family bond and trust that we all develop at early ages.

I essentially lost the trust battle with those two. On multiple occasions, I thought I had it, thought I was doing the right thing, and thought it was working, when it was not.

What's done is done there. I tried my best, and can sleep easily over the thing. Their choices are theirs and they will live with them. The only regret I have is more or less being forced to really take a hard line with them. Either they own up to the mess, and we can start again as adults someday, or...

They can do what they do, and as long as they don't try and split the family, will not get any static from us. They are adults, so they get the adult treatment.

During this time, I did use some computer technologies to track and log, and that helped, but still there was way too many outs, limiting my ability to parent and work on getting the right things done.

They just leveraged this and I bought it hook line and sinker. Ugh...

If this were available then, it would have helped, I think. Maybe it wouldn't, and that's the point of the post.

The two younger ones are right at this point, and I'm worried. I just don't want all of them going south. It's not fair to characterize them, based on the older kids. They are different kids, and I do feel the trust and bond is there.

...but I have been wrong before, and that's the dilemma. Let's just say that KSKD is a bit gun shy, and that's after going to the mat on this stuff too!

After the very oldest pulled every trick in the book, I decided NOT to allow driving licenses until they could get one, on their own, with insurance.

That was the right move for the second oldest, but I'm not so sure it's the right move for the two youngest.

I'm wanting to split the middle, obtain one of these, tag the car, and then give them the latitude I normally would.

What'cha all think?

Missing, do they have Verizon cell phones and are they on your plan?

For about $10 per month you can get what they call the "Chaperone" and you can log onto a web site and track where they are.

I'd be the other carriers have something similar too.

I actually came up with a name for this type of device years ago when my kids became teenagers, and I wished it had been invented at that time:

Trak-A-Teen!

Missing: I have been through similar situations as you with mine. Actually, some of it is still lingering, and they are all over 21. And, mine are "mine", not adopted. So I have no real excuses. People are born with certain characteristics, then they learn others. Some things are within your control, many more are not. You do the best you can, and then they finally have to start taking responsibility for themselves. It's a real difficult adventure, being a parent. And, from what I see, it never ends. Which, after all is said and done, is still probably a good thing.

Stay strong.

Who's car would it be on?

Any car of any boy who wants to take my daughter on a date. Thanks for the heads up on "Chaperone". When it comes to my daughter I am just a tad over-protective of her.

DT, here are some rules you could pass on to your daughters date if you'd like;

Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

I have wanted to do something like this for my own car. For my own protection. And I'm pretty sure it's not a trust issue for my kid. Who knows? Maybe it could even save a life someday.

Your point is not lost on me, Missing. but you could and probably do have valid reasons for wanting it for yourself. Not just your kid, right?

Good thoughts Warner. Thanks!

It would either be on my car, or the spare car I think I'm going to get next year.

Right now we only have one old car! I think things are good enough to change that, so let's assume that's gonna happen.

I never thought about it for myself. I've few worries. Don't get lost, don't go dangerous places (all that often), and the car, while annoying if stolen, isn't a big deal.

It would be for the car the kids would drive. (assuming I get to the point where I'm gonna trust them on it)

Would you tell them?

I'm actually inclined not to. Flipping that around, as a teen, I would have absolutely gone OFF huge, had it been done to me and I found out.

Skybill - No contract cell plan. I got hit for THOUSANDS on that deal from the oldest. No way.