Well, to put it more accurately;

I am in my music room having a fucking cigarette because if I have to talk to one more rude person who DEMANDS that I take one nickel less than the price posted, there will be a hostage situation that involves me being shown live on CNN.

The last guy who wanted to pay 2 dollars for his 3 dollars worth of stuff bundled under his arm ( but was reluctant to show me what he had ) acted like it was some constitutional right to get it all for two dollars. " I'm EXPECTED to haggle! It's a GOD DAMN GARAGE SALE."

" Exactly, " I said. " Tell you what - 5 bucks and we'll call it good."

" But it's 3 dollars worth of stuff! " He said.

" Right. I know. I'm haggling like you. 6 bucks then."

We settled on 3 bucks and I get to kick him in the nuts.

Ha ha! Buck up, CJ, the weekend will soon be over. Then you can put what is left out with a "FREE" sign for the scavengers to swoop in and get. It's nice when others haul off your garbage for you.

I like your haggling, too. One time I was looking at a used car on a lot, and the sales staff was double-teaming me, pressuring me hard to buy. They wanted $2000, I offered $1000. They asked me what it would take for me to buy this car, I countered by asking them what it would take for them to sell me this car. When they asked how they could sell the car to me that night, I said they could drop the price to $500. The harder they pushed, the lower I went. Clearly, they kept that car that night.

In the end, whether it's cars or garage sale merchandise, it's all just crap anyway. Once you disinvest yourself from it, then buying and selling just becomes a game. If you are dealing with someone who takes it a whole lot more seriously than you do, it can be a pretty fun game.

I love the idiots that want to buy $3 worth of stuff and hand you a $50 ten minutes after you open. Um, either put it back or buy at least $30 more stuff then I will give you change!


Hey CJ, will you take a check?

OMG, if you do a garage sale, post huge signs that say (yes, in capital letters): "CASH ONLY! ALL SALES FINAL! ABSOLUTELY NO EXCEPTIONS!"
Nothing's worse than some pissed off old fart at your front door at 6 AM the next morning complaining that whatever doesn't work (and you know for a fact it does) and they demand their money back, or else they'll stop payment on the check and press charges for selling stuff that doesn't work because they know your address.
Yes that story is practically what happened to me before.

It's too late now, but this comes in handy in the ads, and on your door:

Early Birds pay triple.

(And you know what? Many will!)

Mostly those darn book and record buyers...and the professional sellers. Total Vultures.

So, how'd you make out today?

Or how about this Cj??

Mark all of your prices up, slightly higher than what you really want for them. Then when poeple try to bargin with you, you can drop down to the price that you actually wanted.

Just my 2cents, and much cooler than fity cent

My favorite is to go ahead and get them sucked in with a nice haggle, then offer 10 percent below their price, given they take some crap that I think will NEVER sell.

Less to clean up as they paid to make it their problem, not mine.

Oh I don't mind haggling or bargaining. Whatever. Go for it. But to have some of my stuff under his arm, and then feign being insulted because I trust his 3 dollar total - only to have that haggled down to two, was over that little line when I have had two hours sleep and he's a dick about it.

Plus, he was trying to rush me into taking his two dollars because " it's 10 minutes to 8! I've got other garage sales to get to."

No. How's that for an answer? No.

Last time we did this, I knew I wasn't cut out for the morning shifters. I have a nice pinball machine in my garage that was not for sale. But I wasn't going to bring it in. So I put " 5 BUCKS " and then " SOLD! " on it. Just to make their heads explode. " I'll give you TEN bucks! " they'd say.

" Sorry it's already sold." Then they would call me a fool for selling it for so cheap. Oh, but I would have been Donald Fucking Trump if I took the TEN dollar offer? Got it.

Next year - I'm making a short film out of it all.

That is F'in priceless!!!

TILT!

I would never have a garage sale because of the trashy people that frequent garage sales. It just seems that garage sales bring out the scumbags, the low-lifes, the derelicts. I just don't want these type of people near my home. Who knows if they're scouting out my house and waiting to come back and burglarize my home. You just can't trust anybody these days.

If I have shit to sell, I'll just throw it up on ebay. At least with Ebay you can usually get what you want for the item, and you don't have to deal with the dolts who want to bargin with you.

Nah, better yet, put the stuff in boxes and put it on craigs list as "Garage Sale Ready Material". 25 one dollar pieces already marked for your convienance and all for only $10! 100 .25 cent pre-marked pieces all for $10. etc. etc.

Hint: When you do free stuff like a free box put in some good stuff with the bad and tell them it's the whole box or nothing! Make sure to put the good stuff on top though!

Beano, I'm one of those "trashy people".

But then you already know that.

I LOVE good garage and estate sales and auctions. I have a pretty cool house furnished with nice stuff. A lot of the old stuff is built to last. (For example: tools.) It's less expensive, and a lot of times, the item was underpriced. I love a good score.

Plus, it's recycling.

There is now a much higher class of people at sales, everybody likes a good bargain. So while some people do it because of income, or lack thereof, there is a wide variety of people doing it. Also, eBay changed everything. I still say the worst people are the earlybird professional sellers who are vicious vultures. They're ugly!

....and the sales staff was double-teaming me, pressuring me hard to buy. They wanted $2000, I offered $1000. They asked me what it would take for me to buy this car, I countered by asking them what it would take for them to sell me this car. When they asked how they could sell the car to me that night, I said they could drop the price to $500. The harder they pushed, the lower I went. Clearly, they kept that car that night.


SYSTEM HOUSE!!!! why I won't work at a dealership anymore. Excellent response! I do the same, always leave empty handed.......

Merk, 10 bucks for everthing that's left including the red patent pumps with the baby puke stain.

In the midst of negotiations I once told my daughter to give the balloon back to the car salesman. He looked stunned holding the balloon as we got up and walked out the door.

....Something to keep in mind...

If the salesman is a young guy chances are he is doing it the only way he knows. If he's older, he's been around the block and a "Slick".

Most are taught to only sell the payments because it's easier to move someone UP. Me, I found out what they could really AFFORD to spend first then showed them more expensive cars that I knew they could buy for their payment or less. Made better customers and more units out the door if you could afford 10k and bought a 12k car for 8k.

The guy in the next cubicle would spend all month working on selling 12k cars to people who could really only afford 8k. I would sell 20-30 cars a month, he would sell 5 or 6 but they would all be homerun deals. Of course, 20 of his customers would walk out with nothing and buy elsewhere.

Well, enough 'bout dat. no one wants to hear boring car talk.

Beano meanly mused~
"I would never have a garage sale because of the trashy people that frequent garage sales. It just seems that garage sales bring out the scumbags, the low-lifes, the derelicts. I just don't want these type of people near my home. Who knows if they're scouting out my house and waiting to come back and burglarize my home. You just can't trust anybody these days."

Okay, then I hope you don't live along any of the areas that I frequently ride because chances are I would visit your garage sale.

Chances are that if you are selling something I'd value, that I'd gladly pay even more than listed, depending on what it is and how much more I feel it's worth. Well, if you don't want my business that badly, then so be it; I won't spend my time giving it to you.

(And that goes for pretty much any customer/salesman situation, really. I can't even count any more how many times I have just set all my merchandise down at Freddy's or Worst Buy and walked out, simply because they didn't appear to feel I was worth giving service to. Or how many potential meals I have missed at a certain Elmer's because the waiter/ress didn't seem to notice I had been sitting at the table for twenty minutes, starving. Well then, to hell with them, and I'll simply take my business elsewhere! And I do!)

I am glad to know you think I am trash; a scumbag, lowlife derelict. Maybe by chance our paths will cross, and we'll happen to meet at my next apartment sale--and I do have them occasionally--so I can make the same comment about you.

Hey, if you dish it out, ya gotta take it!!

:End of rant

You'll know Zak is at your sale when he arrives in the following manner:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=filV7pzMmkQ

Which one is you BTW?

If you are careful about how you put together your garage sale, I don't see why you should be worried about potential burglars "scoping out" the place.

Some kinds of items, such as antiques and collectibles, probably should go on eBay since, as you pointed out, you likely to get a better price for the item. Items like clothing and shoes, on the other hand, are naturals for garage sales.

DT--
I was the fourth one, riding into the plastic Fischer Price basketball hoop-thingy.....right before the shot of me nosediving into a mud puddle at Goldendale a billion years ago.......

(Gods, I can't believe my folks sent the former one in......I specifically instructed them to torch that tape at least a decade ago........... ;o)

Funny, I figured you for the 360 into the lake!

Man, this is turning into a great thread!

CJ, you are just hilarious man! Your last coupla posts just cracked me up.