To go with the words to never say are the sentences you would never say:
1. Is this thing on?

" I'm Sofa King! "

"Goodbye my dear listener's I have been fired"

If I tell you I'd have to kill you.

Baby it's done, and it's messy. -- attributed to convicted murderer Jill Coit of Colorado by her son during her murder trial.

It's a pleasure to meet you, President Bush.

Somehow, I'm fantasizing about combining the last two posts.

When your wife or SO asks you to take out the garbage:

"You cooked it you take it out"!

"Actually, yes, those pants DO make you look fat."

I wish you well in your future endeavors.

" When's that baby due? "

You'd best be REAL sure about asking that one.

"Well, at least things can't get any worse."

Hey, Sutton, I've heard that one more than once, even quite recently. They really need to come up with some new material.

"This is KOPB-FM, Portland, a Clear Channel station."

" Hi my name is Cindy and I have some papers to give you "...What papers?? Well, its about your divorce....What divorce???????/

"Esta es K-L-Y-C, una estacion de Bustos Media."

Nice try, Alfredo_t, but I can do much better than that:

'This is KLYC, your newest air america affiliate.'

Herb

Christian Talk 620 KPOJ

"We now conclude our broadcasting day"

Touche', Herb.

"Throw away that C-QUAM junk; it doesn't fit in with the digital installation plan."

or

"Marketing guys always know what's best for us!"

""Throw away that C-QUAM junk; it doesn't fit in with the digital installation plan.""
What am I supposed to do with my quad decoder I have somewhere in this mess? Probably still works.

"Up next Dick Cheney and Richard Simmons talk about their marraige."

"You need Dolby 5.1 surround because quad decoders don't fit in with the digital installation plan."

"Hey y'all, watch this!"

"The National Weather Service has issued a winter storm warning for Portland, Vancouver and the Willamette Valley with snow accumulation up to six inches expected through Independence Day."

"I think steak sucks."

"The home of Trevor and Inetta in the Morning, Jennifer Marlow middays, Jason Kyte Afternoons, and djfrresh Nights!"

"The station your co-workers don't want you to sing along with."

"We're your 'Screw-Off-At-Work' station."

"We've started with The Partridge Family, you add the rest as we build YOUR exciting new radio station."

"Ya' know what, YOU'RE AN INSTANT WINNER!!!! You've just ripped-off The Eagles Hotel California album, but only if you promise to stop calling every five minutes requesting songs from it. Now you can listen to it all you want in the privacy of your own padded cell." (Oops, that was more than one sentence, but I think it was worth it.)

"I think it would be a lot of fun to get a Prince Albert piercing."

"Sinbad is cool."

"Alright Bob your the first contestant up on the Smack a Bear in the Face and Run contest....go!!"

"Booger!"

Matchbox 20 is cool!

"TOOL is AWESOME, like TOTALLY!"

LOL @ Destinyoverrun.

"We all in critical condition, babies, but you can tell me where it hurts, 'cuz I got the healing prescription here from the big KRP musical medicine cabinet."

"Alright..who's ready to play what am I holding infront of the mic?"

(LMAO at Alfredo! Dude!)

Alfredo says
"I think it would be a lot of fun to get a Prince Albert piercing."

Hey Alfredo for all the dumb dumbs on this board, including myself. Where is the "Prince Albert Piercing located?"

You can give me the PG rated answer. Actually nevermind, you can give me the PG-13 rated answer.

The PG Answer.

"These changes - they, uh, they wouldn't necessitate the, uh, playing of rock and roll music, would they?"

"Kenny G, now that's REAL jazz."

For a more "clinical" description, try: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prince_Albert_piercing

WARNING: Not for children or the squeamish.

Hint: After the Prince Albert procedure, Mr. Happy will need special care in use to avoid producing a split stream.

I knew a guy in college who had a lot of piercings, and he got one of these piercings. He didn't show it to people, but he was really proud of it, and he even videotaped his facial expression while the procedure was being done. He marched to the beat of a different drummer....