A MAN almost died when he stopped for a roadside toilet break and was bitten by a deadly snake - on the end of his manhood.
The poisonous brown snake darted between his legs and dived at his penis as he crouched on the roadside near Cairns, Australia, before fleeing.

Emergency workers rushed to the scene and wrapped the man's member in plastic in case it was infected with poison.

Shock

But the tourist - suffering from a wound, vomiting and stomach pain - was given the all clear after tests.

An ambulance spokesman, who described the victim as "lucky," said: "It certainly had a swipe at him.

"But it didn’t envenomate him. As it came through it must have got a bit of a shock.

"I think he was a bit shocked and embarrassed."

I wonder if the snakes name was Monica?

Nope. It was Larry Craig. Or Mann Coulter. or Rachel Ray.


Helpful Hint: If you're going to take a stab at attempting some humor, it helps to be a little more current, and use a name from this century.

Two men are out hiking when one of them has to poop.

He goes behind a tree to do his business and when he drops his britches and squats a Rattle Snake bites him right on the end of his private part.

He yells to his buddy who is waiting on the trail and tells him what happened and to run into town and find out from a doctor what to do.

His friend finds a doctor and explains what happened and asks the doc what he should do.

The doctor says that he needs to take a razor blade and cut a small "X" at the bite and then suck out the venom.

The guy goes back to his friend, still in the woods, and when he sees him coming back he shouts "What did the doctor say, what did the doctor say?"

His friend replies; "The doctor says you're gonna die!!!"

Just because merkin was so annoyed by it I am going to repeat it


I wonder if the snakes name was Monica?

Damn, it's still not funny!

Oh well.

Try again?

I wonder if the snakes name was Monica?

Monica Lewinsnakey?

Maybe that is what the attraction was. I mean after all, Bill did speak with "A Forked Tongue"!

Ok, this is going slightly off subject, So I apologise for hijacking this thread BUT

I was talking to a co-worker the other day and he told me that The knife that Lorana Bobbit used to cut John Wayne Bobbits penis off, has just been put on E-bay for auctioning. (true story)

Anybody want to take a "Stab at it"?

Ok back to the snake story!

WOW This is PERFECT timing Justin!!!!!!!

My wife has been looking for a great steak knife for the kitchen! I'll have to put a bid in for the "famous" Knife. We all know it cuts well, so it must be a high quality knife!

http://cgi.ebay.com/Bobbitts-Weenie-Whacker-Knife-Funny-Funny-Knife_W0QQitemZ270 241915881QQihZ017QQcategoryZ73526QQssPageNameZWDVWQQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem