Why did the chicken cross the road?


BARACK OBAMA:
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for a CHANGE! The chicken wanted CHANGE!

JOHN MC CAIN:
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON:
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure -- right from Day One! -- that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.......

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

ANDERSON COOPER - CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes,the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's life long dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of the Chicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% .........reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY:
Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.

PETA:
Why should the chicken have to cross the road and be endangered by some animal hating human. What needs to be done is for the government to build a viaduct so that the chicken can travel from one side to the other at will without the worry of being hit by some vile human operated piece of pollution spewing machinery.

CHICO MARX:
Why a duck?

(don't you love how I set that up?)

BARBARA WALTERS:
It has gone undetected for yeaws, but I had an affaiw with that chicken. We kept it concealed fow we both knew that if wowd of ouw affaiw got out, not only would it wuin both our caweews, but that chicken would not have been able to cwoss that woad.

Because "Hauli Bob's" chicken wagon was on the other side!

The real reason the chicken crossed the road:

To prove to the opossum it could be done!

NEO: [To the 'one' chicken ala Matrix]

There is no road!

(loved these BTW)

Humane Society: If you must have chickens as pets, please spay and neuter them so they have no desire to cross the road. This will make for a better pet and decrease the likelyhood of more unwanted chickens being abandoned outdoors or at shelters.

Dr. Bill Wattenberg:
The chicken had to cross the road because the nincompoops and eco-frauds at the Sierra Club have made this side of the road uninhabitable for chickens.

Ain't that the truth Alfredo. For a brilliant scientist, he's a absolute nutcase.

His beef with the Sierra Club seems to be that (according to him), the organization was taken over by people who are not doing what is most ecologically sound. He often takes the argument farther to say he believes that the Sierra Club is being run by attorneys who care more about getting money out of legal settlements than anything else. His passion on this issue leaves me wondering, is he right (that the Sierra Club is not acting in an ecologically sound manner), or does he have some personal vendetta (i.e. his gripes have no scientific basis) against the organization?