I think I'm in one.

Without writing a book, the story is I've lost a lot of passion for what I do. I know some of it is family health issues. Nothing to be done about that, but work on positives.

(and it's work, but I'm there)

The place where I've worked for a long time, ended up closing up shop. Wasn't anything I did. That put me on the streets, where I worked for myself. Honestly, had the health crap not come up, I would have just kept going.

Chris is right, that's a good gig.

Anyway, it reopened again in startup mode. Long story short, the owner is very difficult to work with. He tries hard, means well, and is tough --scrapper type tough, so we are still here!

That part is good.

The loss of passion really is about not being to successfully build and deliver what I feel passionate about. Survival mode basically. Some of it is artificial, like surviving because somebody puts you there, not because it has to happen.

For periods, I'm cool with that. Always have been. Sometimes it's the right move.

I'm finding that a sustained period of this is harmful, and it's bled into other life aspects. The mental drain seems to be holistic, impacting side projects, creativity, etc...

Some of this is too many too aggressive attempts at building, lacking people and resources. It's taken the faith out of the thing. Maybe that's not right... it's taken the worth out of it, as in "why?"

We are in building mode again, with the old owner coming back, after having boot strapped his other company, and more of the right signals are there.

Rationally then, it's good news. We are highly likely to get back on track and established enough to just have it run nicely, delivering goods and services to people, and all is good.

Emotionally, it's just not there for me right now.

So, anybody here been to this place? What did you do?

I'm feeling like I don't want to do it anymore. I'm extremely good at it though. Major bummer there.

There's a lot of economic pressure all across the board these days.

Gnothi sauton Know thyself. My high school motto.

Homo minister et interpres naturae.’ Loosely translated, the motto means, ‘Man, the servant and interpreter of nature.’} My college motto.

These pop into my head most every day. It keeps me going, even though being self employed through the Bush era has been financially dismal. All the gains I made pursuing 105.9 and building up my IRA from my decade at KATU are almost gone.
You get past self disappointment by realizing that you just can't control big picture politics that have outsourced so much of this country's service and manufacturing work. So you grin and bear it and do the best you can with whatever comes your way.

Happy Easter.

I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders. ~Jewish Proverb

Doug thanks for the honest post. I can't give you any concrete answers or directions. However I can wax slightly philosophical.

We all go through seasons in our lives. This could one of those seasons. It's good you're taking stalk in what you do know and have.

It also sounds like there's a door opening if not peer through a window and take a look.

Re-evaluate your skills and where that might transcend in a place where you'd feel more emotional connection. Meaning: where your passion lies.

I haven't been where you are in quite a while. Even in our early years of being self-employed there was always was this sense we are going in the right direction.

"There's a lot of economic pressure all across the board these days."

That's the cue for Vitalogy to jump in with another post bashing Bush.

Yeah, well that brand of thearapy brings no joy.

Sure it's tough. Hell, spent most of my 20's dealing with tough. For the purposes of this thread, that's just not it.

It's not exactly burnout either. It's more like being burnt out. I think there is a difference.

Not sure of that however.

I'm just gonna come out and say it. The return of the old owner is a good thing. He's a good guy, smart and wise. Gotta have both really.

The old one will remain as some lofty President, or something, leaving us to build him some profit.

I wrote being burned out because that's exactly what it is. Technology and me have never run aground. It's just easy, mostly. When it's hard, passion and being social takes care of that aspect, leaving me doing well

All the petty, controlling, vindictive shit is getting in the way of things -->to the point where I've got seriously deep feelings about just moving on, taking the hit however hard, knowing the rest won't happen without me there.

The fact that I have some gratification in that just sucks. Not usually that way.

So, how to get past the personal crap? I think that's where the passion is. Before, it was a mutual respect thing. I get treated well, get to grow and have a living wage. The owner got his new boat and we would laugh about our struggles on the weekend.

That's all good. (and I'm not talking about boats literally, just trying to express this whole mess)

So now, somebody who didn't bother to see both sides and return my many favors, is still looking for that boat and I'm just not feeling good about that.

Maybe that helps clarify some.

It's as if the passion is connected to this somehow and I've got to disconnect it.

At this very moment, just moving on would be harmful to both my family, though we would make it, and the current owners.

Nobody wants that deep down.

So here I am in this bizzare holding pattern...

Hate it and thanks for listening!

Gotta add, there are our politics and then there is just general life.

For me, the two are seperated. I might be very unhappy with the state of affairs right now. (well, I am) However, that's something I've little direct control over. Advocacy, having these discussions, making life adjustments, educating myself and the kids, etc...

Those are all just adaptations we all must make. Instead of a party going south, we could get a big storm or something. Either way the adjustments need to be made.

So, some bashing might be thearaputic, but isn't going to add to this thread in a meaningful way. Not in the scope of the problem, to put it bluntly.

Missing, I don't know what your age is, or exactly what you do with computers, but it might be a good time for you to review your long term plans and goals.

Where do you want to be 5 years from today, 10 years from today and so on. If you don't think about this, and actually plan on how you're going to get there, you'll be drifting from one less than joyful situation to another from now on.

The real joy is in owning your own successful business.

"The real joy is in owning your own successful business."

Bingo!!

My wife and I do a yearly goals setting session. In reality my wife does it and I look things over and add to it. Then we discuss it throughout the year.

We've looked back on some of those early sessions. My wife writes stuff like this down all the time. We can then begin to map out where we've been which of course clears the way for where we want to be.

The path is always changing. If I told you that back in 1983-84 when I was working for Deane's radio station in McMinnville Oregon I would be doing what I'm doing now, there is no way I could have visualized it. However those 8 months are still a very big part of our success today.

I believe there is joy in the journey. It's not always about an end result. The trip can be just as fun.

A guy I know once shared with me that he "wanted to be loaded, because when you have money you have freedom." There is lots of truth to that statement. But where I take issue with it is the means to that end result. If you do what you love the money will take care of itself.

It’s not about working harder it’s about working smarter.

Passion is a very important factor that influences not only our work, but one that colours our entire life.

Anyone who's honest will admit that working through this area is not as easy as snapping our fingers.

Two things I've found that help me in this area are (1) Time and (2) Reflecting on gifts and desires.

This is an important topic.

Herb

It is.

I'm going to take the time. That's for sure. Where I'm at right now, it's not pretty, but sustainable. Good thing.

This weekend, I'll shut down, go for a long drive and take stock of gifts and desires. Been a while, so I think that's good right now, thanks.

Deane, Chris: Good thoughts. Thanks also.

Computers: Micro controller assembly programming (at dangerous light weight level where current systems are concerned --can bit bang when needed however --that's video, serial, input, output, etc...), systems engineering, application engineering (MCAD, Data Management), Training (small class groups, hands on style), some light programming in C, assembly language, PASCAL (does anybody use that anymore?), light scripting in various things PERL, shell, batch.

OSes: Win32, Linux, Irix, (some) MAC OS.

Been computing since late 80s. Tons of stuff, mostly manufacturing and engineering related. Some Industrial Design. Can teach those people well enough, problem solve for them too. Just have little overall creative talent of that kind.

Sales: Have closed C level deals, 100K with help, 50K alone. Pre-sales, demos, proposals, planning, consulting, etc...

This is not a call for jobs, or really a resume posting. Just for the context of this thread. The group here is quite the mix, so maybe some stuff will shake out!