So at 4 am in the morning they have infomercials galore, and I couldn't help but laugh at at a product called Extense that increases the male's unit 3 full inches. MONEY BACK guaranteee. Now I have seen a lot of BS infomercials, But this takes the cake.
What are some crazy infomercials you have seen? Some of these infomercials are just so damn funny and so stupid, that I can't stop watching them, I than think to myself, What poor sap is going to buy these Penis enlargement pills and actually thinks they are going to work?
Lets have some fun with this one. What are some of the Crazy infomercials you have seen?? OR have you ever purchased anything off an informercial?? Be honest, admit you have the "Food dehydrator" in your garage collecting dust.( I do!)

J G Wentworth, It's your money you deserve it now. We will give you 25% (If Your Lucky) of your annuity or structured settlement and keep the rest of YOUR money!

What's the deal with the "gold kit"? You call for "your personal gold kit", they send an envelope, you send in your gold jewelry and they whisk you a check back? I see SCAM written all over that one.

(by the way, I only got an additional 2 inches)

I wonder who would be brave enough to attempt to collect on the guarantee when they don't gain the 3 inches? I can just hear the judge say "your evidence is coming up a little short".

Filming that court case would make for a huge Internet video hit.

Nah, it would not live up to the expectations!

On a side note, Some people require no time at all and are really big dick's naturally!

BIGGER PEANUTS? What's wrong with regular peanuts. That Justin, doesn't even know how to spell peanuts!

Whatever you do, don't use Justin's food dehydrator on your penis. You'll be REALLY disappointed witn your size if you do ...

Yeah Dark, guess it would be just too LONG.

On a penis related note, I used to work with a Persian / Asian guy --mostly Persian. When he joked about that, he was known as Long Dong Abdul.

A man’s sex life is like a breakfast cereal!

Grape Nuts.

He starts out with Grape Nuts when he’s born, progresses to Rape Nuts from about 10 – 15 yrs old, then to Ape Nuts from about 15 to 40 yrs old, then to Peanuts from about 40 to 70 yrs old and finally ends up back with Grape Nuts!

I was at a 2 Way Radio seminar and the presenter used this to open the meeting! Fortunately it was all males in the seminar!

What about Don Lapre? He used used to advertise about placing tiny classified ads to make money.

It Slices, It Dices, It Chops, yes you to can own the Ronco "Chop-O-Matic"!

Go Big Time With Enzyte!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mS9xwV2qaBg

I would never need penis enlargemnet pills. Plus, why should I?
I've never had any complaints with the Mrs.

Speaking of Weenies, Did I mention that I love playing with my YUGOS dipstick, and MY GOD what a nice set of head lights she has.
But I digress, There are some damn funny informercials.

Hey Temper- How's your chop o matic, it couldn't be any worse than my food-dehydrator.

I bet she has a sweet tailpipe to!!! HA

I guess i'm not quite the sucker you are, I never bought one! HA HA

Dried Prunes Anyone??

I think we should have an infomercial party at my house. Everyone is invited, BUT you must bring an item that YOU have purchased off an infomercial.
I'll bring my Food-dehydrator, Darktemper can bring his "chop o matic" Mikeolb can bring his personal gold kit.
Momma Timberfake just bought a new Bloody Marry maker, off an infomercial (She likes her BM's on the spicy side!.)
This will be a ton of fun, the only question is, who will bring the penis pills??

This will be a ton of fun, the only question is, who will bring the penis pills??

And will they share them???

Everyone is invited, BUT you must bring an item that YOU have purchased off an infomercial.

Bummer dude. I won't be allowed at the party.

If it says "As Seen On TV" on the package, I won't buy it!

Just be careful taking those pills, especially around Merkin and her Ginzu knifes!

The Mother Lode!

I'm gettin' me one of these:

http://www.asseenontv.com/prod-pages/fart_machine_no_2.html

Beano does not need one of those. All he needs are some crisp bean burrito's from taco time for .99cents and he is all set!

Ok Craig, Im marking you down for bringing "The fart machine."
And Skybill, You still have time to purchase something off an infomercial, its not too late.

And Temper you said "Just be careful taking those pills, especially around Merkin and her Ginzu knifes!"

Does Merkin have a "Lorana Bobbit" past that we're not aware of Darktemper.? Yikes, I knew she had a dark past, but I didn't know it was this dark!!!! Mandatory cups/Jockstraps might be required for the guys, More info coming soon!

I don't know, I was just funning around. But you could probably get her there for a bloody mary!

Momma Timberfake's B.M's (bloody mary's) are so spicy and good that you might actually have to call the fire department because your throat will be on fire.

Got Hard Water, Rusty Pipes, Water Smell Bad, make your skin itch, then we have the solution for you....SHOWER R.C. Guaranteed to protect you from any water problem! Yours for 4 easy payments of $39.99 plus S&H!

Image

As memory serves, Beano once claimed to be decidedly non-male!

HMMMMMMM........ Last time I checked I believe I was male, BUT that was the night I was drinking old English, SO i will get back to you on that Smooch!

I must have read it wrong.

Thats ok Smooch, I act crazy when i hit the bottle also.

I'll go anywhere for a good BM. How does Monday 3/17 work for Momma Timberfake? The pickled bean/asparagus or celery is green, right?

I'm thinking of bring this to the party:
http://www.asseenontv.com/prod-pages/brababy.html

But I'm still pissed that I had to pay S&H because the AsSeenOnTV store at Clackamas "Town" Center closed! How did this happen? Why wasn't I notified? Has the CTC mall gone too upscale these days? Does the Vantucky Mall have one?

First, the Thomas Kinkaide "art" gallery across from Todai in Pioneer Place closed, now this? It's sad dark days for Oregon, folks!

Has anyone tried those new infomercial foot-things that suck toxins out of your system and turn all black overnight? I love gross stuff like that, but would be furious if they didn't work!

Anyhoos, I'll bring the penis pills, but I will need to document, measure and photograph "before and after" pix to verify their effectivness! All in the name of scientific research, of course. I already know what Herb's results will come to, so he gets a bye.

If you want to document and photograph, Make sure ive had a good strong B.M,that will get me going.

I thought you said that they set just your MOUTH on fire!

Hell, Now I want more than one!

Is it just like the ad on TV: "If you have an erection that lasts longer than 8 hours, see your doctor."

See a doctor....a coroner more like it!

Can you imagine the special coffin that "Wood" have to be made? Featuring some kind of dome on the lid right in the middle.

You mean a "Hump" right in the middle right?

Steeple.

What the heck are you gonna tell Mr M when you are leaving with a yardstick and camera?

I'll either say "Important scientific research, dear" or just "blackmail".

He'll probably say, "Just don't fry any more ants with your magnifying glass, honey."

The coffin issue: how about just cutting a little hole in the cardboard? Maybe a G.I. Joe doll helmet for the service for respect and modesty?

Is it just like the ad on TV: "If you have an erection that lasts longer than 8 hours, see your doctor."

Doctor, hell. I'd call Guinness Book of World Records!

skybill says
s it just like the ad on TV: "If you have an erection that lasts longer than 8 hours, see your doctor."

So thats what a BM from Momma Timberfake will do to a guy!
I don't like to have BM's very often, So I think I will pass if I come to the "infomercial party".

"I don't like to have BM's very often"

Even if you get the special "bonus" effect from just one?

What about the Pu-Pu Platter I'm bringing from Thatch? I'll order you a Volcano Bowl to go. Man, I'll have to drive super fast to keep the flames in each from setting the Pacer on fire!

http://portland.citysearch.com/profile/44696190/portland_or/thatch_tiki_bar.html

I don't know, a bloody B.M. just isn't my kind of fun, BUT if thats what people like than more power to them.
I'll settle for a scotch myself. As far as pu-pu platters go, Ive seen them close up and they are not very appetizing!

A GOOD B.M. IS SO OVER-RATED! I've had a few in my life and they didn't live up to my expectations.



Like a dirty pair of underwear, IM OFF!!

Good night everybody!