Joe Blow was today named program director of Blah-109. Said Blow: "I'm thrilled to have the challenge to program this heritage property and with the faith that cluster Executive Vice President for Stations Programming Music and Hot Talk North of Eugene, Sally Weasel has placed in me as we move to the next level. It has always been my dream to work at Blah-109 and now I'm getting the opportunity. With Sally and the support of MediaCoCorpIncLimitedCom, I'll know we'll give Portland exciting radio"

Formerly with MegaStationMonopolyCorp's Dull-87 in Medford prior to its recent flip to PowerLighteningTower-87, Blow is a 2005 graduate of Medford Regional Vocational High School.

Weasel, named to her post last year after 5 months in sales at sister station Septic-101, said "When we did our market analysis and focus groups we knew we needed someone strong and dynamic who could put us over the top and I knew in our first meeting that Joe was the guy who can really take Blah-109 and make it a core property in our North of Eugene cluster segment operational format group."

Blow replaces market vet Sterling Silvertongue who resigned suddenly this morning to pursue his lifelong dream of selling voice-overs on the Internet. Weasel added that no changes in air staff are contemplated.

Air staff changes ... you mean upgrading the Dell, don't you?

LMAO

It could have been worse, Station K-awful, has announced the addition of HAL 2001, the former motion picture star, will be running hte complete operation. No more actual humans will be involved. The addition of HAL gives us the opportunity to remove the listener from actually being able to change the dial on his radio. Any one caught trying to change the dial, will be sent into a space, without a space suit.

If they ever figure out how to replace the listener, they'll have it made!

A lovely example of a generic press release. Only the names change, but everything else is accurate...

FUBAR MEDIA tabs market Veteran Kyle Smoot to direct Market programming.....

..."I've always wanted to work for a company that has a respect for talent and experience", said veteran broadcaster Kyle Smoot. The 22 year old Smoot began his career as an intern with crosstown rival LAME-101 last fall before being tagged to head programming at K-BORE/JUKEBOX-103 and, FM-99 THE SOCK PUPPET. Says Smoot, "I look forward to utilizing my selector skills." I will also be looking into rearranging the furniture in the reception area, and plan on tweaking the positions on at least two of the computer monitors in studio. Smoot expects to incorprate several other mundane tasks into his routine since he won't be burdened with an actual airshift, and there is no actual staff to manage. In addition to his duties with FUBAR MEDIA, Smoot hopes to also operate a Maytag repair business on the side

LOL!

Its HAL-9000

My favorite is when the new PD says something like "the station is right on track, we're just going to fine tune a little, which usually means new format and staff!!

PD: Hey Chris come see me after your show.