I have some neighbors who are LDS. For some reason, they sent missionaries to my house. I have no clue why I was singled out. I have tried my best to be polite and friendly to the missionaries, but they completely ignored my remark that "I am not spiritual." They have come to my house a number of times, resulting in friendly small talk on non-Mormon subjects.

However, on a recent voicemail that I got (I probably shouldn't have given them my phone number), one states that he would like to "teach me a lesson." I take this to mean a lesson about the revelation that Mormons believe was given to Joseph Smith by the angel Moroni. The problem is that I don't share their belief system. If they were to try to convert me, they would be bringing a poser into their religious community. And, as flippant as it may sound, I enjoy my coffee, tea, beer, wine, R-rated films, and I have been known to enjoy some other non Mormon-approved things that I probably shouldn't talk about here. What is the ethical thing for me to do here? Should I blow them off completely? Should I be vague, hoping that they will eventually give up? Or, is there some way that I can express my lack of belief in their doctrines without being offensive?

Unfortunately, you will have to be blunt with them. I would let them know in so many words that they are wasting their time and yours. If this doesn't work, tell them to fuck off and to get off your property. This worked for me when I was targeted by Jehovah's, as they would not take a nice "no" for an answer. The root of your problem is that you gave them the time of day, and they will continue to pester you. I learned my lesson and will immediately cut off anyone who attempts to sell me such garbage over the phone or at my door.

It's so funny that the faith's that call themselves the ONE true religion are the one's that do so many things there own way and NOT as the Bible tells us.

I have a neighbor who is a Jack Mormon. It has been a few years since he has seen LDS missionaries because he developed a novel approach. After years of getting pestered, he answered the door naked as the day he was born, acted crazy, and they quickly disappeared.

My approach has always been to engage them, but keep them outside. Few of these well-meaning and annoying folks have a real grasp of theology in general. Rather than freak out, I scare them with the depth of my Biblical knowledge. It is really funny to see their reaction when you bid them farewell and say that you will pray for them.

Ask them just two questions based on their cult. This should guarantee they stop bothering you:

#1. How many gods are there?

#2. Will you become one?

If they're honest, they'll have to say 'many,' because in the LDS church, every man becomes god of his own planet.

Mormons are great people. But like Jehovah's Witnesses, they preach a different Jesus. Mormons teach that Jesus Christ and the devil were brothers. Christian orthodoxy recognizes this kind of teaching as heretical.

Herb

The Devil was an Angel that defied God if I'm not correct...?

Absolutely.

But the error that some of these people make is in placing the devil on a level with God.

satan is but a created being.

Herb

Satan is but a created being.

and the most BEAUTIFUL Angel to boot.

Herb is right.

Or do what I did, bought a "NO SOLICITORS" sign and put it on our screen door. Haven't had a problem since.

Me as well... Have one at the beginning of the driveway.

"satan is but a created being"

Yes, Herb is correct for once. Satan, and all his other little fairy tale characters are all created...created by the wild imagination of people many generations ago who's wish is to control you mentally, physically, spiritually, and financially.

I've been an inactive Mormon for many years, trying to get away from the overpowering "management" of ther peoples' lives. The other day I was eating dinner and spilled food on my shirt so I changed to a clean T that I inherited from a passed-on family member. It just so happened to say "God's busy, can I help you?" and had a picture of Satan. I took that as crude humor but don't normally wear it out of the house. Two Mormon men knocked on my door and they were middle-aged men who finally found me because of the church magazine subscription my Mom pays for - they said my records finally "made it here" from Salt Lake. They kept looking at my shirt and me asking if I wanted home teachers and missionaries visiting me and I kept saying I wasn't interested, but I noticed their eyes looking at my shirt. As embarassing as it was (I don't worship Satan) I wonder if that will keep them at bay. I kind of want to do my own thing but it's hard to tell them that. I wonder if the shirt did the job. I don't want them "praying for me". If there is a real God, he'll understand my own desires to be a good person - I shouldn't need to profess myself to someone or pay duties to a large organization. If there's not a God like that then I guess I have nothing to lose. Why can't being a good person be good enough????

Once, we just had it with missionaries.

Just got pummeled. Name the creed, they were there and there big!

So, my wife just flat out declared us Satan worshipers and would they like to come in and learn more? (Man, I would have loved to be a fly on the wall that day!)

We worried about it, then forgot about it.

Nobody came back.

Interestingly, word gets around it seems. She only did it once on a bad day, frustrated enough to just act out big.

The no solicitors sign is much nicer and works.

"If there's not a God like that then I guess I have nothing to lose. Why can't being a good person be good enough????"

Herb can answer that question.

Here's a trick I learned from watching The Osbornes: Rig your gate/doorstep with a sprinkler system.

Nice!!

Xyar, best post of the night. Maybe best of the year so far.

Do what I do, offer them in to watch a porno with ya and drink a few beers.

Point to the NO SOLICITING sign on the door as you politely close it on them!

This should do the trick!

http://cgi.ebay.com/No-Soliciting-Prostelytizing-Bible-Thumpers-Door-Plaque_W0QQ itemZ310020016245QQihZ021QQcategoryZ10034QQrdZ1QQssPageNameZWD1VQQ_trksidZp1638. m118.l1247QQcmdZViewItem

I think you would be a most excellent shopping partner!

Anybody up for an impromptu gathering on say March 2nd or 3rd? The 10 day forecast is for rain (although that don't mean shit in the PNW). The last one I planned hit on one of the nicest days you could imagine so the attendance was a little sparce.

I have a friend, who got tired of a group coming up to his door and trying to "convert" him. So he just answered the door in the nude, when he knew it was them. Didn't faze them a bit,

"If there's not a God like that then I guess I have nothing to lose. Why can't being a good person be good enough????"

"Herb can answer that question."

Let the record show I was asked.

It's a great question. It's also so universal that it's addressed repeatedly in the Bible, which says that there is no one righteous enough on their own. In another passage, our perceived good works are likened to filthy rags. That's how far apart we are from God's absolute goodness.

But by accepting the GIFT of Christ's atonement and repenting from our sin redeems us.

You see, if we judge on man's curve, there is no telling what level of depravity we would excuse. Hitler and Stalin thought they were doing the world a favour.

God created us and knows us better than we know ourselves. He uses a different, higher yardstick and knows that we are by nature selfish and as good as many people are, we all fall short.

I compare it to swimming from LA to Hawaii. Some might make it 1/3 of the way. Some even half way. But unless one can swim it completely, no matter how far one goes, we all end up goners. It's the same without God.

Herb

I like most of that answer, BTW.

Herb, thanks for telling us what god thinks. If you would, please give me his email address as I'd like to verify what you said is true.

Vitalogy, you don't need his email address. It's all spelled out very well in the Bible.

Yes it is spelled out ... thousands of years before the New Testament, before Jesus, before Christianity. Somehow Herb likes to leave that part out. see Genesis 6, 12, Jeremiah 17, Hebrews 9


Shalom,

Andy

I don't believe in the bible. I'm not that gullible. I need better verification than a book written by men who never met god either.

Well see, I like the answer because it's self-fulfilling. If somebody needs god, it's teed up and ready to go for them. All good.

There is nothing authoritative in this however. Either it all works for you, or it just doesn't.

Funny missionary story ...

I shared a house in Mt. Vernon, WA with two other guys when I was 21. One of them was Muslim, he was from Iran.

This one day, my other roommate (also named Brian) and I were sitting around the house, drinking beer and watching football ... we see some Jehovah's Witnesses walking up. He looks at me with a sly grin and says, "Watch this."

They knock on the door. He grabs a copy of the other roommate's Koran off of the bookshelf and walks up to the door, and opens it, and says:

"Hello. This is a Muslim household, and we would appreciate it if you would not spread your infidel literature around these premises. By the way, which way is Mecca?"

These two RAN to their bicycles and hi-tailed it the hell out of there.

The following day they came back through the neighborhood. They got to our house, got off their bikes, and walked them across the street until they got past our house.

I still laugh thinking about that, 14+ years later.