I've been listening to CBC Radio 3's Canadian music podcast lately. Although the swearing isn't at a level that I would consider gratuitous, the F- and S-bombs do pop up every now and then. Since podcasts can be downloaded at any time, the concept of a "safe harbor" doesn't apply to this type of media. How should (or how do) parents handle this?

That's life. We need to stop over-protecting our kids. I don't know about you but my world doesn't come to an end when I hear the F word. It's total BS to think that it damages the kids.

Agreed.

People can and do engage in profanity. I am all for moderating the public airwaves. Right now it's pretty stiff, but I'm ok with it.

The podcast is not like the airwaves. We only have one set of spectrum. There is a strong case for making that decent. It's a scarce resource, to be protected, like beautiful places are protected.

We can have as many podcasts as we want to! Additionally, they are not broadcast. People choose to inhabit, or consume cyberspace. There is also as much cyberspace as we want as well.

Surf with your kids. Your average kid, unless completely sheltered, is gonna run into profanity, and they will grow up just fine, just like every other kid. You have to build trust and a sharing relationship. If they don't come to you with cyber-issues, they are going somewhere else and that somewhere else then is the parent, leaving you in the cold. Not cool.

The key is to have the conversation about it, provide alternatives to it, don't fear it, don't use it, if that's your thing. These conversations are your chance to pass on your values. Think about it... If those value justifications are fear based, non rational, etc... they are not gonna carry any weight! Again, if yours are not worthy, somebody else's are!

That's the primary reason why sheltering and filtering is futile in the end, and will only lead to rebellion and experimentation. Better to have that happen under your watch, instead of theirs as young adults!

In my home, this was a BATTLE! Ended up nailing them hard for bad form. This worked, and keeps profanity to a very acceptable medium, with the added benefit of the kids being able to differentiate social situations --and that's key to me.

They don't hose it up, when they are not supposed to. I'm totally happy with that.

Uttering a profane word is no big crime in my book. --given it's good form. (extreme pain, emotional distress, humor) Uttering it, in bad form, in the wrong time and place is just lazy and ugly.

After a *lot* of consideration, I've come to realize profanity is valid speech, we have always had it, will always have it. Ugly things require ugly words, period. There will always be ugly things.

Each of my kids went from no profanity, to toying with it, too much of it, back to almost none of it, just as with most adults I know. One does not use it period.

Sheltering one from physical realities is always futile. Kind of like Douglas Adams Peril Sensitive Sunglasses. "If you can't see it, it can't see you!" (they turn dark, at the first sign of peril --silly huh? That's exactly how sheltering and filtering works.)

Better to educate and empower, than shelter and fear.

Another thing I do is a sort of amnesty. If I find out about something first, it's big trouble --huge! So, porn & profanity are out there. All one has to do is ask! That's reality.

If it happens, either it was not the intent, or it was. Not the intent means some education is needed to empower them to exercise the right judgment calls. Intent indicates a need, not being met, so deal with that. (and that one is not easy, but well worth your time)

So they can come to me for empowerment, or they can sneak and get nailed huge! KSKD child psychology 101: The only way kids do the right things is when doing them is worth more than doing the wrong ones! That's it!

That does mean some very frank conversations, but the alternative is grim; namely, those conversations happening elsewhere. Again, not cool with me.

Properly done, it leaves the online smut as a non-issue, just like it is for most adults. It's all about their life choices and boundary issue perception.

In the end, no matter how much parenting one does, they can and absolutely will make their life choices. The more educated they are, the more solid those will be. And that's exactly what we are here for.

That's why I went for form. As adults, if they know how this works, they won't be seen as lazy, uncouth, ignorant, etc... IMHO, best case scenario!

To get back on topic, if the dynamic I'm talking about is in play, the podcasts are a non-issue. It's either valid profanity, in good form, or it's trash. Nobody, who has any real self-respect listens to trash, so it will be seen for what it is and life goes on.

Missing_KSKD, I wish more people would listen to what you have to say about this. The truth is, if the parents aren't the first people to talk to their kids about the tough subjects, someone else will. Will that be someone at church, someone at their school, someone on a radio/TV show, or some psychotic homeless bum?

We need to stop over-protecting our kids.
I agree there, too. Part of the issue is the reaction to the fact they don't think they're supposed to be using that language. And, the kids hear that they're words, they don't know why they've been sheltered from them.

I feel that many kids like to test the limits by saying things that upset their parents. I'm 57 years old, and I can remember how upset my peers and I could make our parents by giving Nazi salutes and shouting, "Heil Hitler." Did we believe it? Of course not, but it sure shook the old folks up.

Yep.

Every generation does this. How it manifests varies with the times, but it's gonna happen, no matter what.

Teens have to learn boundary issues. What better way than to cross them? Also, this has to do with personal limits. How much trouble is really trouble, for example?

Just one of many questions that each of us needs to answer in order to find out just who we are, and more importantly, what we plan to do with that information.

Those who blame the world for their problems forget that they inhabit it. They can do something about it. They can learn, inform, and turn things off. Radio is not there just to be there. It's not oxygen; I'm sure if it disapeared you wouldn't die. The impact of media is there but it won't kill you. It is your job as a consumer to dictate what you want with the products you consume. If you don't like it don't consume it (if deep fried food makes you fat..don't eat deep fried foods, don't try to make deep fried foods feel bad by saying you hate it but still consume it). You educate your children you hope that your parenting gives them the necessary tools to process information and to ask questions if they do not understand what they are hearing. To silence a DJ or station because your child heard them talking about breast's, poo, or talking about abortions is simply saying "I'm not ready to be a parent." If you teach your child right and they happen to hear someone on the radio and they repeat it to you is it that hard to explain to them that what that man or woman said is wrong for young folks to say. I could go into social context, symbolism, but I hope you all get my drift.