27 ways to be a good Republican...

1 You have to be against a woman’s right to choose, but support the murder of thousands by air strike.
2 You have to believe that a shopping mall is better than a backyard, as long as it’s not YOUR backyard.
3 You have to believe that guns in the hands of drug dealers and gang-bangers are less of a threat than countries that have never fired a weapon at Americans here in America.
4 You have to believe that there were no airlines before Federal funding, tax breaks and kickbacks.
5 You have to believe that global temperatures are more permanently affected by natural changes in the earth's climate than billions of tons of waste gasses pumped into the atmosphere by coal and natural gas power plants.
6 You have to believe that the sex of someone else’s spouse is actually your business, but your adultery isn’t anyone else’s business.
7 You have to believe that the AIDS epidemic cannot be slowed with the assistance of the Federal government.
8 You have to believe that the teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is doing a great job.
9 You have to believe that hunters care about nature because the 10-point rack on the wall shows their commitment to it.
10 You have to believe that things magically happen even if you have no self-esteem.
11 You have to believe that Mel Gibson made The Passion Of The Christ because Christ died for our sins and not to gain notoriety.
12 You have to believe the ACLU is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, but the NRA is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.
13 You have to believe that taxes are too high and the deficit, trade gap and unemployment levels are too low.
14 You have to believe that Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, John F. Kennedy, and Thomas Edison.
15 You have to believe that standardized tests are not racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are.
16 You have to believe that George W. Bush is normal and is a smart, well-spoken person with no hidden agendas.
17 You have to believe that a representative democratic republic will work for everyone, regardless of belief, history or ideology and that it’s okay to kill a considerable percentage of them to bring it to them.
18 You have to believe that a President having consensual sex with another adult is far worse than a President who’s eager to send our children off to get killed in a war that isn’t a war to find weapons that didn’t exist.
19 You have to believe that Christmas and Easter were originally Christian holidays and not co-opted seasonal festivals of Pagans.
20 You have to believe that changing the rules of the Senate and the Ethics Committee to protect Republican Senators is somehow in the best interest to the United States.
21 You have to believe that we actually went to war in Iraq to find WMDs because they were a clear and present threat to the United States.
22 You have to believe that Republican backed special interest groups didn't finance The Swift Boat Veterans for Truth, they got the idea and money on their own.
23 You have to believe Bill Clinton getting a blowjob in the Oval Office is appalling, but Newt Gingrich serving his wife with divorce papers on her deathbed is A-OK.
24 You have to believe in defending the sanctity of marriage except when it’s a husband trying to fulfill his wife’s wish in ending her life.
25 You have to feel that marriage is sacrosanct and inviolate while ignoring the fact that 61% of Catholics get divorced and another 7% get their marriages annulled.
26 You have to believe that what John Kerry did 30 years ago is important, but what George W. Bush didn't do 30 years ago isn't.
27 You have to believe that this message was authored by a left-wing pinko socialist bleeding heart liberal.

22 WAYS TO BE A GOOD DEMOCRAT

1 You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2 You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity.

3 You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4 You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5 You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6 You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7 You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

8 You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9 You have to believe that hunters don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

10 You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11 You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion Of The Christ for financial gain only.

12 You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13 You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14 You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison & A.G. Bell.

15 You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16 You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

17 You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18 You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

19 You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20 You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

21 You have to believe that a bigger government is a better government.

22 You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy.

I am still laughing and nodding at this one Chris!!

You, of course, authored these lists Chris?

I wish I had authored them. I merely authorized them for playback.

Why you, you Plagiarist!©®

These are just great!

Thanks for the laugh this morning. It does make for some perspective! IMHO, we are all just a bit nuts!

You dare to put the great General Robert E. Lee and Gloria Steinem in the same sentence? Pure blasphmey!

Irreverence is my middle name.

Trivia question, Arlington Plantation was confiscated eary in the civil war, and became Arlington Cemetary. Who was it confiscated from and who founded it.

Arlington was the 17th-century ancestral plantation of the Custis family located in Northampton County on Virginia's Eastern Shore and is the namesake for Arlington National Cemetery. It was established by John Custis II (1628/29 -1696), one of the most influential planters of his day. Custis left his plantation to grandson John Custis IV, who is known as one of Williamsburg's leading horticulturalists and father-in-law of Martha Custis who eventually married George Washington. John Custis II built an elaborate mansion house c. 1670-1676 that has been described as the most sophisticated 17th-century house in the Chesapeake. The report describes the historical background, initial field survey of the 7 acre site, and subsequent test excavations into the Arlington mansion cellars that produced a variety of architectural information that has been used to produce a conjectural rendering of the mansion.

Edit:
Robert E. Lee lived there but never owned it.

Poetic Justice that they should bury dead Union soldiers there though.

The answer is Maj Gen George Washington Custis Lee, Robert E. Lees Oldest son, and George Washingtons great, great grandson. By the way, Custis Lee sued to have Arlington returned after the war, and won, and turned around and sold it to the US govt.

Which makes it Custis Last Stand.

Ironic, that Arlington House, that was supossed to me a memorial to George Washington, but all the Washington artifacts his grandson had put there were stoen by Union Soldiers, Is a memorial to Robert E. Lee.