I've got a recurring caller that seems to be obsessed with me. It's actually gotten to the point where it's somewhat uncomfortable.

This gal called me the other night, requested "Iron Man", told me that the song turned her on and that she wanted to be my "Iron Maiden".

Anyone here have any good stories along the same lines? Any advice how to deal with the crazy ladies?

If it doesn't work out, you could hire her as a writer.

"Any advice how to deal with the crazy ladies?"

Start stalking HER! Eventually she'll get a restraining order at HER expense. And you'll have a great story to tell.

Dang- Is my wife bothering you again?












Wait-This is how we met!

Is her name Jacquel or Jacque?

Ooops, I meant to address that to Dberichon; Sorry, Chris!

Beware, that certified nutjob lives up your way, watch out! Don't even play Misty for her.

Tell her your iron "tools" were left out in the rain and rusted, and she should call the Tin Woodman. Then sic the flying monkeys on her.

When I started in radio overnights in the '80s, there was a woman that called every night and told me "she put her bra on the radio so I could be with her when I'm not on the air".

One of my fellow DJs had met her at an event and described her as "a bowling ball with hair".

She was harmless, but definitely out there.

For Dylan: My advice is if the Iron Maiden makes you feel uncomfortable or unsafe, be polite and don't encourage her. If it's just in fun, don't be afraid to take it to the next level - but meet her in a public place, not at the station.

I do recommend meeting her at the station, as in police station.

(Thanks, I'll be here all week...as I'm the opening act for Chris!)

http://www.krud.com/toon28.html

http://www.krud.com/toon29.html

Iron Maiden chimes in:

Run to the hills

But seriously...
See Radiowoman's post 11/9 7:55 am on the Legend Retires thread.

We had a woman who would park in the lot at the Sylvan studios waiting for Doug to leave the building...she also used to show up at every one of his remotes...It seems that boundaries do not exist for these lonely folks.

Be aware of your surroundings. I hope she gets bored and fades away soon.

I wonder if she knows that Iron Maiden did not sing Iron Man?

This whole topic is very foreign to me. Groupies...what are those?

LOL, What ever Scott tells you to do, do the opposite. I'm still waiting for the movie Scott but, you and I know it would have to be a trilogy. Love ya man.

If anyone ever worked an overnight shift in Portland in the late 80's or early 90's, then they had to know of "Lori." She called every station on the dial. The calls from her always went the same way:

Jock: (answers phone)
Lori: Hi. What's your name?
Jock: (gives name)
Lori: Do you want to have sex?


At KEX in the early 80's, Bob Swanson had a very serious stalker. This lady was a whack job that would come to the station. Whenever she would come to the station, the receptionist was instructed to say "Call holding for Mr. Autry" on the paging system. That was the signal for anyone nearby to get to the lobby to help get this lady out of the building.

R.J.P...I REMEMBER LORI!! She lived in Gresham, right?? At least....that's what somebody told me.

Joe....love ya' too, honey.

I know you remember Lori......

ask Rich Johnson about Granny when he was at KEED.

Yeah Lori finally got on the right meds and now she works at the local 7-11 in Keizer! No seriously!

I once had one named Genie. The only thing I can remember is she didn't like automatic transmission but had never driven a car.

And then there are the sales groupies. Hot young women, barely legal, who have an insatiable desire for the most successful AE's.

Oh, the stories I could tell...

My first job working overnights in Florida I had a couple of inmates at the state pen in Starke who sent me a few...shall we say..."passionate" fan letters. Too bad Arbitron doesn't count that all-important convicted felon demographic...

Oh yes, crazy Lori. She'd call for weeks on end, then we wouldn't hear from her. I'd think, well she got some help. Then she'd be back for another round. I'd always ask if she'd called Z100 yet. If not, I'd give her the number.

Now craig if you wanted to be a real ass (assuming you had the information) you would have given Lori or any said crazy listener the hotline to the studio of the competition or just the least liked on air talent at the time.

Lars Larson.

No I wouldn't have gone that far. I did have Z's hot line. Wendy Bailey was working both Kisn-FM and Z100 weekends during that time. Z & Kisn were next door to each other. Kisn was in the K103 studios at the time. [Radio Row]

I've got the "Iron Maiden" phone call saved if anyone wants to hear it.

She called tonight. She asked me if I would go on a "cuddle" date with her. I told her she wouldn't like it because I have jagged edges.

She responded by saying "That's okay, I'm into pain."

This just gets better and better.

See, if you weren't LIVE this wouldn't happen!

Ask if you can voicetrack your show.

Now you're talking Roger!!! (wink)

At one station we had a great set-up. The groupie was instructed to arrive at the lobby door of the station. We could turn out the lights in the lobby and look out the blinds and check-out the groupie without her seeing us, hiding behind the blinds. Then if she was considered "ok" we'd jump to the door and welcome her in. If not, she got no response at the door! Ah those were the days!

>>Now you're talking Roger!!! (wink)<<

Sheesh! SOME people won't stop at ANYTHING to plug their business! (wink)

My favorite thing about not being seen and having groupies is similar to the lobby story above.
I once had this girl call me daily, even found my home number and called there.
I finally told her I would meet her at her workplace. Now I hadn't done any remotes or live appearences in this town yet so I was pretty anonymous facially speaking, and no websites in those days.
She said she worked at Penney's in the men's clothing section.
So off I go, find the first man that worked there and asked him who "julie" was and where to find her.
He pointed her out and needless to say there was and always is a reason why "lonely" girls call dj's, yechhh.
I ran quickly and never talked to her again.
She eventually gave up and started banging on one of the other guys, who by the way frequents this board but will remain nameless because I think he married her. Just kidding.

"...and that's how I met your mother, son."

"Sheesh! SOME people won't stop at ANYTHING to plug their business! (wink)"

huh?

It's a legit upside man! IMHO, one of the better points of discussion that has come up on the topic of VT.

Add life style choices to that and it's a compelling package --just as you have written here many times.

If I were in that space, I would do it in a minute for those reasons alone. Family / personal time is just too valuable not to make the most of it.

Speaking from experience is not the same as plugging one's services / business.

And I was just being facetious.

CT, I don't believe that you have a facetious bone in your body.

Funny bone? Yes. Kind bone? Yes. Facetious bone? No.

He must have a milkbone though, he sometimes milks things for all there worth.

And I was just being facetious...

me too

"It's a dog-eat-dog world and I'm wearing Milk Bone™ underwear"

Norm

Roger I knew you would get it because of what we have posted in the past.

Mrs. M I believe I owe you money for our last counseling session and BTW I am doing better.

Hey, how do I get an "appointment"?

CT: No, IOU
MK: It's so easy, it's scary!

I will call you Mrs Merkin. No really I am need of some serious therapy these days! Thankfully you already have the lowdown more than most!

Rent "Play Misty for Me" if you haven't seen it lately.

Read up on stalkers, restraining orders, and concealed handgun permits.

Meet people almost anywhere but on the request line, preferably in person!

The Harsh Reality of being STALKED
________________________________________________________________

WHEN A STALKER CALLS RADIO FIGURE FACES ALLEGED TORMENTOR
Oregonian, The (Portland, OR)
January 13, 1995
Author: TOM HALLMAN JR. - of the Oregonian Staff
Estimated printed pages: 4

Summary: A Portland news anchor goes to court to end five years of calls and letters that stirred a feeling of dread

He lived to hear her voice.

That's what he said the first time he called.

As a Portland radio personality, Debb Janes was used to calls from admirers, men who slipped in a compliment or two when they phoned her to request that she play a certain song.

So Janes said thank you.

He couldn't go a day without hearing her voice.

That's what he said the second time he called. And this time he didn't bother to make a request.

Janes didn't know what to say. So she said nothing.

Her voice kept Satan's people from getting him.

That's what he said the third time he called.

Janes hung up.

But the calls didn't stop.

In subsequent calls, he told Janes she wore nice clothes and described where she had been the day before. The station's telephone screeners learned to recognize his voice and refused to put his calls through.

That didn't stop him.

He sent Janes letters, flowers and compact discs. One day at the station, a videotape arrived. Janes played it and realized that he had secretly videotaped her while she was doing a show on location.

And that's when this voice became the bogeyman.
- -
On Friday morning, Janes, now the news director and morning news anchor at KKSN-FM radio, will appear in a Multnomah County courtroom to face the man she alleges has stalked her since 1989.

Ernest A. Patriaca, 37, of Portland was arrested Jan. 6, one day after Janes called police and signed an ``Oregon stalking complaint.''

The law, adopted by the 1993 Legislature, allows prosecution of people who alarm or coerce others by engaging in repeated and unwanted contact ``without legitimate purpose.''

When Patriaca showed up at the radio station where Janes works, he was arrested and accused of stalking and second-degree criminal trespassing. His trial is set for Jan. 30 and he's lodged in the Justice Center jail.

On Friday, Janes will ask a judge to issue a stalking protective order, a restraining order of sorts, to keep Patriaca away from the station and away from her -- forbidding any contact of any kind.

If the order is issued, and Patriaca violates it, he could be charged with a Class C felony and face up to five years in jail, if convicted.

But there may be problems.

Some Oregon judges have indicated they think the stalking law is unconstitutionally vague and have dismissed cases brought before them. Those cases have been appealed, but the law may ultimately have to be amended by the 1995 Legislature.

That means Janes might not get her order Friday.

``I feel really vulnerable,'' said Janes, 41. ``I have myself and my children to look out for. I don't jog anymore. I'm always looking over my shoulder. I hear a noise and get freaked out.

``I fear for my safety,'' she said. ``This is breaking my heart.''

- -
``Too many days without enough sleep and lost appetite and 15 to 20 pounds left me too weak for any more hide and seek. Shown respect and love and dignity. Now I want the same.''

Excerpt from a letter received by Janes
- -
The strange calls began in the spring of 1989 when Janes was working for KGW radio. They stopped a few months later when the station quit playing music and went to an all-talk format.

``I moved to a different schedule and we had more call screeners and security because we were doing talk, which generated more controversy,'' she said. ``When I didn't hear from this guy, I thought he had lost interest in me.

``Then I got a letter saying that he had been trying to reach me, but they wouldn't put his calls through,'' Janes said. ``There were more letters, gifts and then this video he made of me was delivered to the business office. It literally scared the hell out of me.''

In 1992, Janes moved to KKSN radio, where she has a private news telephone line. Unbeknownst to her, the stalker had followed her across the dial and listened to her news reports. He also called the station's disc jockeys every few days, trying to get them to transfer him to Janes.

One day, he got through.

``I picked up the phone,'' Janes said, ``and he said, `I've been waiting years for this, how did you like the video?' I recognized his voice and slammed the phone down.''

There were more letters.

In one, he referred to the 1989 shooting death of Rebecca Schaeffer, a Portland actress who was gunned down in Los Angeles by a stalker.

Last November, Janes met her caller face-to-face when she agreed to be volunteer bell ringer to collect money for the Salvation Army. She was with another volunteer, when a man walked up to her.

``He said he wanted to know how I liked the video,'' Janes said. ``That's the first time I ever saw him and I was scared. I told the other volunteer what had happened and he whisked me away.''

In ensuing weeks, the man called KKSN incessantly. He showed up in the reception area, begging to see Janes. He left letters for her, in one asking her to marry him.

On Jan. 5, he left a letter that read in part:

``Everyone I know thinks I have lost my sanity. I have played the game because I hurt you five years ago. I have showed you that I respect you, that I care about your feelings. I have so much love that it can be like a blanket, but too much love can drive someone away, which has happened too many times in the past.''

Janes called the police.

``I signed the complaint,'' she said. ``The next morning, at 6 a.m., he showed up outside the station and stood by the back door and said that as long as he could hear my voice, Satan's people would not get him.

``We could see him on the security camera that scans the door,'' Janes said. ``We called police and they took him away.''

Janes does not now what sparked the interest in her.

``It's nothing I did,'' she said. ``And there was nothing I could do to prevent it.''

Tom Hallman Jr. writes features for The Oregonian's Crime, Justice and Public Safety Team. He can be reached by phone at 221-8224 or by fax at 294-5009.
Color photo by BENJAMIN BRINK/The Oregonian
Color photo of ERNEST A. PATRIACA
Memo: Stalking
Edition: FOURTH
Section: LOCAL STORIES
Page: A01

Index Terms: Local Biography Profile; HARASSMENT DEBB JANES
Copyright (c) 1995 Oregonian Publishing Co.
Record Number: 9501130400

I know that while my sister was dating a local newscaster, he had at least 2 female stalkers who followed him quite often in their cars, even to my sister's house. It is pretty scary.

I wonder what's happed to the Patriaca guy in the last 12 years?

Text Deleted. Please disregard, bad joke.

Edit Add:
Sorry

So....Patriaca is Herb's last name?

No he is not. Innappropriate joke and removed.

I really hope it doesn't get to the point where I would need to call the police and get a restraining order.

For those that wonder, I have absolutely zero intention of meeting this gal.

I have some twisted people calling me quite a bit also. I don't think she'll take it to the point of having to notify the police.

After reading the article above, I'm very curious to know what's happened in the story since 1995. I hope things have improved for Ms. Janes.

Anybody?

PLEA FOR PROTECTIVE ORDER MEETS DENIAL
Oregonian, The (Portland, OR)
January 14, 1995
Author: TOM HALLMAN JR. - of the Oregonian Staff
Estimated printed pages: 3

Summary: A Multnomah County district judge refuses to order an alleged stalker to stay away from Portland radio newswoman Debb Janes

A Multnomah County district judge refused Friday to issue a stalking protective order to a Portland radio newswoman even though it was clear he was moved by her impassioned request.

Debb Janes, 41, the news director and morning news anchor at KKSN-FM radio, sought the order to keep Ernest A. Patriaca, 37, of Southeast Portland away from her.

Judge Michael Loy's rejection of her request dramatizes the legal controversy over Oregon's 2-year-old stalking law. Amid judicial concern that the law is unconstitutional, a bill has been introduced in the 1995 Legislature to repair it on behalf of victims such as Janes.

Patriaca, a former dishwasher at a Southwest Portland restaurant, has been accused by Janes of stalking her for nearly six years. On Jan. 5, after Patriaca allegedly made a series of calls and visits to the station, Janes called police and signed an ``Oregon stalking complaint.''

When Patriaca showed up at the radio station the next day, he was arrested and accused of stalking and second-degree criminal trespass. He has pleaded innocent and his trial is set for Jan. 30.

Patriaca is being held in the Justice Center jail.

Janes wanted Judge Loy to order Patriaca to keep away from the station and away from her. If Patriaca were to violate such an order, he could be charged with a Class C felony and face up to five years in jail, if convicted.

But even going into court, Janes, who had no attorney and represented herself, realized that her odds of getting the order were slim.

The law, adopted by the 1993 Legislature, allows the prosecution of people who alarm or coerce others by engaging in repeated and unwanted contact ``without legitimate purpose.''

Some Oregon judges have indicated they think the law is unconstitutionally vague and have dismissed cases brought before them. Those cases have been appealed.

On Friday, however, none of that mattered to Janes.

``The issue for me is not whether provisions of the stalking act are unconstitutional,'' she told Loy. ``Look at what has happened to me in this case. Mr. Patriaca has decided I am his obsession.

``I hoped it would go away,'' she said, pointing out that she would have had to hire an attorney to argue her case while Patriaca's attorney, Linda Hughes, took the case for free.

``I fear for my safety,'' she said. ``Now I have to fork out dollars to argue about a law that was supposed to protect me. When will victims' rights enter the courtoom?''

Hughes said she understood Janes' concerns, adding that if Patriaca is released from jail before his trial, a condition of his release will be that he have no contact with Janes.

``That should be sufficient protection,'' Hughes argued. ``The protective order is not necessary.''

Janes made one final appeal to Loy.

``The message we are sending is the legal system protects them more than it does the victims,'' she said.

In the end, however, Loy would not issue the order.

``Please understand,'' Loy said. ``I believe there is a need for a stalking act. There is no doubt victims need legal protection. But I took an oath to uphold the Constitution and I join with other judges who have decided that provisions of this act are vague and overbroad.''

Janes said she was disappointed with Loy's ruling and planned to contact Rep. Kevin Mannix, D-Salem, the state legislator who came up with the idea of a stalking law.

Mannix said Friday that he had learned of Loy's ruling but took pains to point out that ``there have been hundreds of orders issued.''

``The important point is that a majority of judges have upheld the law in most jurisdictions,'' he said. ``There have been about six cases where the judges have said no.''

To address the problem, Mannix introduced House Bill 2316 in the Legislature this week. If passed, the bill would modify the existing stalking law and remove the language that judges believe is too vague, he said.

``When we passed the first law we wanted to be as aggressive as possible,'' he said. ``When you do that, you take risks because you are at the edge. Some judges thought we went over the edge. I think 2316 will take care of the problems.''
Color photo -- DEBB JANES
Color Photo by BENJAMIN BRINK of The Oregonian staff
Edition: FOURTH
Section: LOCAL STORIES
Page: A01

Index Terms: Local; HARASSMENT
Copyright (c) 1995 Oregonian Publishing Co.
Record Number: 9501140544

WOMEN URGE LAWMAKERS TO FIX STATE STALKING LAW
Oregonian, The (Portland, OR)
January 25, 1995
Author: PHIL MANZANO - of the Oregonian Staff
Estimated printed pages: 2

Summary: Portland newswoman Debb Janes joins in asking a House panel to alter vague wording

Four women pleaded with a legislative committee on Tuesday to fix Oregon's stalking law, which some trial judges have ruled to be unconstitutionally flawed.

Ten days ago, Multnomah County District Judge Michael Loy rejected a request for a stalking protective order from Portland radio newswoman Debb Janes because he believed the statute was vague and overbroad.

A man who thinks he is being chased by Satan's people has been calling, writing and videotaping Janes because he believes that her voice is his only protection against the demons.

``I have absolutely no backing from a judge in the state of Oregon, saying that this man has done anything wrong,'' said Janes, one of the four women who testified. ``I find that absolutely appalling. I find that criminal.''

They were testifying on House Bill 2316 before a House Judiciary subcommittee that is attempting to fix language in Oregon's stalking law -- the most comprehensive stalking measure in the country.

Rep. Kevin Mannix, D-Salem, the main sponsor of the original stalking law in the 1993 Legislature, said the majority of judges who have heard stalking cases have upheld it, and hundreds of victims have used it effectively.

He said the current bill is aimed at short-cutting appeals court decisions and fine-tuning the bill's rough edges without diminishing the intent of the law.

``Any time you have a new law, you have to make improvements as you go along,'' Mannix said.

Oregon's law states that someone commits stalking when ``the person knowingly alarms or coerces another person or a member of that person's immediate family or household by engaging in repeated and unwanted contact with the other person without legitimate purpose.''

The law's distinctive measure allows police officers to issue protective orders and require the stalker to show up later in court. It also allows victims to directly pursue their claims in court.

But some courts have found the law's phrase ``without legitimate purpose'' to be vague and not to clearly spell out what behavior that might include. Assistant Attorney General Robert Atkinson said the bill addresses that by removing the language.

``I am confident that this bill addresses the major and only significant constitutional issues that have been identified to date,'' Atkinson said.

David Fidanque, the executive director of the ACLU in Oregon, said the bill raised questions about due process by giving police officers the power to issue protective orders.

The law also has been criticized in the past because of the possibility people may abuse it -- such as a Multnomah County tenant who said his landlord was stalking him when the landlord was trying to collect rent.

But Marion County Circuit Judge Greg West said he has had no trouble enforcing the law.

``It protects a class of people who are ineligible for restraining orders,'' he said. ``In my two years, I have not found any abuse of the law.''

Meanwhile, Janes waits to see if Ernest A. Patriaca, 37, who was still being held Tuesday night in the Justice Center jail for allegedly stalking her for more than five years, will be released.

``This is about somebody who continually violates my space, my privacy, my safety, my mind,'' Janes told the committee. ``Everything that I am is being violated.''
Photo - Deb James
Edition: FOURTH
Section: LOCAL STORIES
Page: B01

Index Terms: HARASSMENT
Dateline: SALEM
Copyright (c) 1995 Oregonian Publishing Co.
Record Number: 9501250580

I used to have chicks come into the studio and get naked for me when I worked an overnight shift at a rock station. Yeah... that was fun.

Good work, when you can get it.

I didn't know Deb James was still on the air. What station?

She isn't.

Well Craig, I must say you certainly know how to evoke emotions! My heart rate increased and I felt a familiar anxiety just reading those old Oregonian articles. Bottom line: a friend tipped me off about this discussion thread and I felt compelled to respond.
First of all, while I was fearful for my safety during this ordeal, I did not face the absolute terror that many stalking victims endure. While working with Representative Kevin Mannix to change the state's stalking laws, I met many people who endured much more than I ever did. One woman came home from work to find an ex-boyfriend waiting for her with a gun. He held her hostage for 12 hours while threatening her with horrific abuses. Apparently this type of behavior continued for months. At the time, our stalking law was so vague that she could not be assured of any protection because, according to one judge, she had not been physically assaulted.
Stalking often involves someone you know, but in my case it was someone I'd never met before. I think it's important for all radio/t.v. folks to be aware of the potential for misplaced attraction. You should also know that stalking is not gender specific. One veteran announcer (out of respect for his privacy I will keep his name confidential) has been stalked by a male listener. If I remember one story correctly (sorry, it's been quite a few years!) the perpetually angry guy rammed his car into the announcer's, causing some pretty serious damage.
I do have a few suggestions for those of you who are concerned. Groupies,( girls who want to get naked for you, Shane )(folks who want to meet you at remotes) (listeners who call you everyday, sometimes multiple times)are not stalkers. Stalkers make groupies appear aloof. If you feel uncomfortable with a listener, trust your gut. Naturally, it's important not to encourage any inappropriate dialog. But then that should be a general rule for any pro working in the business. Good humored banter is part of the job, but it’s important to pay attention when someone crosses a boundary. Most listeners will let you control the nature of the dialog. If you find yourself in a situation where that is no longer the case, hang up, and be consistent with it. Hopefully, that will stop the problem. If not, start documenting. It's important to establish a pattern of behavior. It also helps put things in perspective if you have a timeline. Honestly, I never thought the calls from my stalker would turn into anything serious. But after he started describing my clothing and dropping off video tapes of me, I knew something was wrong. You need to pay attention when behavior turns obsessive. If you haven't already, share your concern with management. It not only helps protect you, but also offers a warning to your co-workers. Chances are, the stalker will show up at your workplace. My stalker eventually did go to jail. His probation officers checked in with me for about five years, updating me as to his progress with rehab and medication.Sometimes he'd tell them something especially provocative and they'd warn me to be watchful. Trust that I took their concern to heart! The last contact he tried to have with me was via an email about 6 years ago when I was still working in radio. I ignored it and he went away-hopefully, this time it's forever. I hope this information as been of some value and I also appreciate the chance to discuss it. It's an ordeal that will never leave me.

Debb: First, welcome aboard! Early in this discussion I felt it was getting too light hearted. I kept thinking this is not right. I'll bet there are people in the business reading this, thinking the same thing. Someone needs to get it across, this could really get serious, given the individual. That's when I thought back to your situation and how You went on to get these laws changed for victims. Then I thought maybe Debbs reading this and shaking her head, these posters don't have a clue to what it's really like. That's when I decided to find the articles.

You might not remember this, I had just finished doing overnights, the morning Your story broke on the front page of The Oregonian. Steve Lloid was doing mornings. I remember you were in the newsroom getting the news together and Steve had just brought in the paper. He showed it to me. That's one morning I'll never forget. Driving home I remember thinking what an ironic thing for You to be on "The Fun Oldies Station" and have listeners wake up with a story like that on their doorstep. I felt so sorry for you.

Thanks Craig. I appreciate your understanding. I really didn't shake my head (too much)!

I am shocked that the stalking law was (is?) so difficult to use and enforce, as late as 1995! Was this legally corrected? Is there a difference between stalking protective order and a restraining order?

Please tell me things have changed. As I said above, my sister was somewhat familiar with this and it was frightening.

For practicle purposes, restraining orders are almost useless, most judges still refuse to put someone away for violating one. Male or female, and yes there are female stalkers. What makes it worse many police officers still refuse to take them serious, and think they hae more important things to do.

Most times when someone violates a restraining order, the judge, if they make it to a judge, gives them a stern warning, don't do this again, or else, and the next time same thing.

Until the court system starts takng it serious, instead of waiting for someone to be physically hurt its not going to get any better.

The good pepper spray, you can buy it at a police supply store, is a pretty good protection.
Or the "Bear" spray you can buy for camping trips, its not sold to be used on humans, for a reason.

On the contrary, a Restraining Order is an important first step in legal proceedings to stop a stalker. At the very least it can be used to remove a stalker from the presence of the victim by law authorities called to the scene.

While I'm not a lawyer and I can't speak for Ms Janes, but victims SHOULD get a RO as soon as things appear to be going bad. Besides, if you end up having to use a weapon or self-defense tool on a stalker, you'd be on solid legal grounds if you obtained a RO first.

Clearly any questions one has regarding stalkers are better put to an attorney than posted here.

I'm not saying they shouldn't get a RO, but a RO does very little . Judges just won't put someone away for long enough for it to help in most cases.

Skeptical: You are right on and I agree with your final statement as well.
Nwokie, read his post again, pay attention to the second paragraph. And pepper spray is a good idea...just make sure you know how to use it correctly.

Nwokie, it's all about building up that paper trail on their activities.

If the stalker ends up moving on, nothing is wasted, and the holder of the RO has a lot more options than an ordinary person does. If it ends up not being used, no big deal.

If the stalker continues to escalate things, then documenting that is key to doing some real damage. And, think what you want, showing that order to law enforcement will get some action right then and there. That's a measure of relief that may not be lasting, but an important option at the time.
This is one of those slippery crimes where there are lots of plausible defenses. It takes some paper to give it teeth, largely because any one action against them is weak, and the stalking is difficult to prove without a chain of connected actions.

...just as any one stalking event can be weak too. It's the sum total that's doing the damage and that's gotta be reflected in ones own defense.

Thanks for posting Debb. (and hello too) 5 years of follow up! Man, I know about that.

Just when it's time to maybe start putting it to the background, there comes the call: "Yes Maam, he's still a nut job, just thought you would want to know how nutty he still is."

I had a similar very long period of follow up. Was for my father, who after I ended up putting him in jail, was convicted of sex crimes against other members of the family. Ugly for sure.

For years after, he stalked and threatened my Mother (who actually bought the Nwokie line and needed outside assistance to deal). I ended up actually having to entrap him and get him behind bars a second time, after thinking the conviction would settle things.

County level law enforcement is stretched thin. They will work with you and try hard, but it's pretty obvious one has to step up and get involved to see action on something like this. In my case, they were pretty cool. Told me where to go and who to talk to, to set it up and do it right and as safe as possible.

Got to know his Parole officer very well (same guy both times!), until he ran. Then I got holiday visits from the Sherrif, wondering if he made contact. Really gave us all that Christmas feel. Hated telling the kids why Bob the Sherrif always seemed to stop by. Hated showing them the pictures too. Had to though. Kids were his thing.

It's largely over now as he is in a hospital somewhere dying, but I often wonder which was worse:

-getting the update calls, knowing where he was at, etc...

-or not getting them and having to wonder if he is just there, somewhere looking at us.

Horrible crime, IMHO. Does a lot more damage than people give it credit for.

Hope you have your share of peace these days. I'm getting that now, but it took him dying to really see it close for real.

Thanks to Debb for some enlightening info about how to handle overenthusiastic "fans."

I was stalked for 25 years by a guy I met briefly in college. It's only just begun to tail off since I got married. In the 1990's I went to court over this guy multiple times, and even got a lifetime restraining order against him (first of its kind ever--I made headlines), but nothing ever changed the guy's behavior. When he continued to stalk me, I called the police and told them about my bright, shiny new lifetime restraining order, certain I would finally be given some protection. They yawned. I was never able to get it enforced.

There was a period when I considered going underground--changing my name, moving to Europe, etc. Now I think that's ridiculous. No one should have to take their own life apart to avoid persecution, and anyway stalkers don't give up. If you're a public-facing figure, you don't have that option anyway. Debb is right--do what you can to educate and protect yourself.

We've been fortunate my wife and I. Both being in the media can add up to some weirdo’s. Thankfully they have been harmless.

Only once did an over enthusiastic listener contact me in the parking lot at one of the radio stations I worked for. It was guy who just wanted to say hi. I told him I appreciated his excitement in meeting me however I gently told him if he wanted to see the station and see me in action that he could call for a station tour. That seemed to work.

But I must add that listeners can be some of most wonderful people to meet. I know that many of us have probably received some very nice gifts, notes and other items. I never take these people for granted and it keeps me going because when I meet these listeners I can put face to my demographic.

We could probably start and entire thread on the good things listeners have done for us, well at least the ones we can present on this message board.

The weirdest listener call I've ever freceived, was at my first job at KARO back in 1980. A lady called and started talking about what she wanted to do with/to me. Said she was married, with a 14 year old daughter. At one point during the conversation I asked "What would happen if your daughter walked in on us?" and she said(I am NOT making this up): "We'd just have to see." And when asked about where her husband would be, she said: "In the other room, reading the paper." She even gave me directions to her house and everything. Yeah, I couldn't have gotten more creeped out. Fortunately, she never did call again.

One of the nicest listener calls(as a disc jockey, I get plenty of very complimentary emails in my current radio gig broadcasting junior hockey) I ever received came about 11 years ago while working at KTIL in Tillamook. A listener called one day and asked if I knew of someone who had any video of the destruction derby held the previous night at the Tillamook County Fair. I said: "Well, actually, I do. Why do you want it?" She told me that her ex-husband drove in the derby and got his car thoroughly trashed and smashed and that her(the caller's mother) wanted a copy, so she could see him just what he had coming to him. When she asked me what it would cost her, I jokingly said: "Meatloaf." Well, the next day, she showed up at the station with a plate of meatloaf and mashed potatoes, which were very good. She got her tape and we became good friends.

Outsider, your free meatloaf begs the next question for this thread: is it wise to eat free fan food? I'm sure most of us have received gifts of cookies, cakes and more from adoring fans. Anyone have a bad experience with fan food? What is the proper balance between safety and the radio credo "if it's free, it's for me"?

Have them take a bite first?

I remember a fan leaving a case of home made pickles for one of the jocks. The DJ didn't want them so he left them at the front door of the station for anyone to take. Weeks later the same fan comes back and sees his case of rotting pickles at the door. I know about this because I was the guy that answered the door. He wasn't happy but I think he learned something.

If it was wrapped up and came in some kind of identified brand or container, it was fair game in the stations I worked at.