Christaylor>>I suggest we start with Mrs. Merkin for the next personal thread.

Oh, alright, I’ll do it.

Mrs M., admittedly my first exchange of words with you was less than positive, but my first impressions of you didn't prove true over time. It's been fun hanging out with you in this forum, even when you're singing “The Carhop Song" at the top of your lungs.

Maybe sometime I'll make it to one of the gatherings and see if you really do "swear like man," or if it's only towards certain former postal employees.

Cheers,

Randy.

(...and why doesn't the Mozilla spell checker recognize "merkin" as a word?)

Mrs. Merkin makes me laugh out loud at my screen more often than any other poster!

Thanks Merk!

Thanks for picking up the ball on this one Randy. Got hectic since I posted the suggestion we do this.

Mrs. Merkin makes me want to write poetry with swirling metaphors, creative incantations, and judicious semantics. MM your biting and humor filled diatribes are classic among PDXers. Wit mixed with a certain charm have me rolling back in my chair trying to explain my back flips to the family.

Your stories of motherhood endure me to you that much more and I have found a certain fondness for Mr. Merkin and what he must think of the Mrs.

If I were I drinking man I’d toast you with the hard stuff that makes your body shake down to your toes. So with my eco-friendly container filled with Hemp Milk ( loaded with omega 3 oils)…I toast a fiercely passionate woman, mom and wife. May all three of you live long and healthy lives.

It'd sure be a boring forum without her. You think it's hilarious out here you should see the smack talk in the fantasy football league, what with her in first place no less, at least till Sunday when the Cats are gonna knock her off of her Roost! Hey Merkin, whatta ya say to a little wager? This week, me and you, the person with the least points buys the winner a drink at the next get together!

A sampler of the Best of Merkin (Vol. 1)

"Oh, and you'll have to blow...on my toes"

"I am forced to live out my days with the soft pink(o) castro-lovin' militant bunny-huggin' global-warming hand-wringing terrorist-supportin' gun-hatin' homo-friendly NAMBLA anti-God Everybody-needs-an-abortion campers."

"A "terrorist": Somebody who uses biodiesel? Rides a bike? Miss Teen South Carolina?"

"My eyes, oh good Lord, the horror of it all!"

"The 1950's, 60's and 70's are over, in case you didn't get the memo."

"But did you enjoy the weenies?"

"Please, just for once, try smashing your fingers with a hammer before you respond to this crapola."


You're a-typin', and I'm a-grinnin'!

Thanks for helping to keep us sane, Merk.

The first time we met online, I wondered who this, "I go to Walmart, just to see the freak show, Doesn't everybody?" woman was.

Since then, it's been a ongoing stream of wit, coupled with one of a kind humor, I find very tough to deal without for too long.

She brought friends to one of the recent gatherings. Nice people, from Denmark. Before it all went down, we exchanged e-mails about worries over this and that. None of it mattered! In seconds, Chickenjuggler, Merkin, friends and I were just laughing our asses off. I had to leave early, regret it, still do.

(and thanks CJ for the Izzard DVD --have not laughed that hard in a long time!)

Long ago, when deciding if I wanted to post, or just read, the Mrs. was one of the ones that made it all seem right. Still does.

I doubt she really knows just how many people have laughed out loud at some rather boring text on a screen somewhere. LOL + Merkin = coke through the noze funny, more often than not.

There are people one knows that kind of get sized up in a coupla passes. Then there are those others that just grow over time. Always something unexpected, funny, proper, solid. That's Mrs M.

Some more Zingers!

--
"I am sure none of you have ever fooled around have you?"

Uh, no. Never. Straight or gay.

Oh wait, does that include watching? Or just after marriage?

--

Hmmm... what about getting in trouble for crafting double Ken 'n Barbie sleeping bags with the Kotex, as a young kid?

--

Speaking of racks, I'd be honored to be somebody's prize!

And I'll bet Mr. M would be thrilled...until I got sent home in a day or so...

--

End of story, morning glory.

--

I drive fast (well, as fast as the Pacer will let me) and I'm great at parking! I have loud music on when no "baby on board", and dude, I like nice sunglasses, Oakley, not Gucci-Paris Hilton type.

--

If you don't show, your ass is grass, and I'm the lawnmower, baby!

--

Describe your butt crack, then we might believe you...

---

And from Joamon:

http://www.stuartmacbride.com/en/blog-items/blogimages/general/amc-pacer.jpg

The Merkmobile!

It's been a fun few years Mrs M. Despite what you say, or think, know you are beautiful. Mister M is a very lucky man.

Here's to many more online and off! Wouldn't miss it for the world.

Merkin, thank you again for being the first to welcome me to the forum. I cannot imagine this place without you and your wit. Your perspective is very important around here, and without it, there tends to be a great deal of rattling toolboxes, belches and blatant scratching. We even caught Herb cleaning his ears with a key.

You often save us from ourselves. Oh, and you inspire the world's greatest puns. Whether blatantly intentional, or in the case of Chris Taylor, perhaps not: "Your stories of motherhood endure me to you..." That is a slip that only another parent could make, but he is right. We all admire your many enduring qualities. :o)

I am still laughing too hard at the "Merkin Mix" to add much more. Except, perhaps, "Ham-Fisted MREs!" I love you -- in the most appropriate of ways -- and always scan for your posts. Thanks again for being yourself.

JO says "Hey Everyone".

One of the main reasons for checking in here at pdxradio.com is for the daily dose of hilarious wisdom from Mrs. M.

I love it when people get out of line in here. Seeing Merkin put them in their place is more entertaining than WWF Smackdown!

DT-Point well put. I have done all I can to stay away from MM's scathing and at times lethal smackdown.

However, if at some point I do deserve such a verbal spanking, I would consider it an honor and a privilege to have been put in my place by the Mrs.

So, where is the Mrs. today?

Cool, A ROAST. More Merkinism's:

-----------------------------------

"Merkin I was hoping we could be friends. We share a lot in common, we both love Starbucks and we both love Nordys.
When should we meet for Coffee?"

"Hmmmm. What size shoe do you wear?"

-----------------------------------------

"Wayne, you are a doorknob."

-----------------------------------------

"OMG! It must've been PMS!
I apologize.

Mrs. Midol"

-----------------------------------------

"Crap On! Crap Off!"

--------------------------------------

"NOTE TO SELF:

IGNORE THE TROLL!"

-------------------------------------------

"You guys are make me feel all schmoopy inside!"

UH OH....cut her off:

"I just woke Baby M. up from laughing so lous, see I cna't even type right..."

--------------------------------------------

ROCK ON Merkin!

Still have the Pacer? Wanna sell it? I can go 200.00

Merkin has good taste in music. That's all it takes to make me like her.

But there's so much more.

She likes Red wine. Also a plus.

Music and wine. She's the gal to enjoy both with.

Mrs. M is just downright smokin'!!!!!!!!!

Mrs. M makes this place worth the price of admission alone!

My God it's getting sappy in here!

Mrs. M writes with a very sharp pen, which she jabs into the back sides of all who deserve it.

By the way, I'm giving her this for Christmas:

"The first-ever limited-edition Thomas Kinkade cuckoo clock".

http://www.collectiblestoday.com/ct/product/prdid-103166001.jsp

Speaking of "The Divine Mrs. M.," she seems to be missing in recent days. Hopefully she doesn't have the eeiiiuuuccch that's been going around in recent days.

WTF!!??

Did Merky die or something? What's with all the tesimonials and eulogies?

Seriously, I love the heck out of her as well. She's a peach. We are fortunate to know her and share her cyberspace.

Merk On!

(...and I should proof read my posts to avoid repeating the same phrases repeatedly.)

Yeah, it's kind of wierd. She does this however. Probably got busy, new computer --something.

I wrote mine the way I did, hoping she would jump in and help tell some of the story...

--->Merk on. I think I might have to get a bumper sticker! One of mine is getting old, so it's time. And I like ones that people ask about. They would ask about that one for sure!

I've no idea what I would tell them though!

Everytime I read this I get too teary...and then bust up laughing. I'm back, I'll respond soon, I've been very busy "workin' it" on Craig's List so I can afford that damn cuckoo clock.

And you guys are all the best. Love you, Pookies!

Hmmmm, Dare I?

Oh what the heck.

Hey M, you could just save the money and strap a watch to your wrist, same thing! HA

While I disagree with Mrs_Merkin on many, but not all issues. She has shown shes intelligent, and has a sense of humor.

Have a good weekend Mrs M!

"keep portland merky"

I wish it were Merky in here! Man she has been scarce lately. Hey Merkin.....hope everything is OK! Don't be such a stranger!

...or at the very least don't be stranger than fiction

Nah, when she's around, it's more like "Pulp Fiction".

I've seen Merkie around here recently, but I suspect she may be having troll fatigue.

I know I am tired of Scrolling The Troll looking for worthwhile posts to read.

So how about it people? Lets give each other an Ignore-A-Troll gift this X-mas and don't post in threads the troll creates or reply to his comments in others.

If you wish to make a comment on a topic the troll has opened, create your own thread, and we'll have the discussion there.

How about it?

Mrs. M, is just plain hot!

Mrs. M, come back! I miss you and DT is running wild without you