A good friend sent me this and though I disagree with most of it, I offer it to Herb for all his good work here.

A Condensed Version of History

For those that don't know about history...... here is a condensed version.

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were:
1. The invention of beer, and
2. The invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer.

These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
1. Liberals
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed cl ose to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard libe ral fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. The y crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history.......
It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.
A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute

I've seen this before and find much of it to ring true. It helps explain why those in the media, the courts and in education are so pink.

Herb

It's been proven that liberals are smarter than conservatives. Liberals make their own fortunes, conservatives inherit theirs. No one ever made it big by thinking conservatively.

"It's been proven that liberals are smarter than conservatives."

If liberals are so smart, why did Mr. Bush beat his liberal opponents twice, even with the liberal media and liberal courts?

"No one ever made it big by thinking conservatively."

Tell that to all those who work hard to be successful, pay taxes, give to their house of worship and charities, plus make a payroll, while providing for their own families.

But if by 'make it big' you mean flying around spewing carbon emissions like Robert Kennedy Jr. and Mr. Gore whilst decrying global warming, you may be right. They sure have liberals fooled.

Herb

"why did Mr. Bush beat his liberal opponents twice"

Because a majority of Americans are dumb.

Well I found the article hilarious.

So did I, but HerrB couldn't even admit if it made him even smile, if he even knows how. It would force him to show some pink. He'd have to unclench the Sphincter-tight pursed Lips.

Pink? Sphincters? Smiling?

Are we talking about history or some sort of anal suppository? Good thing I like pleasure and pain.

I don't do pink. It's too close to pinko.

"Because a majority of Americans are dumb."

That's the best you can do? Classic liberal elitism. That's in line with the leftist rationale' that imposes the nanny-state and socialist health care on all of us.

I don't carry water for the pope, but as Police Chief O'Hara would have said: "Saints preserve us."

Herb

It would give me great pleasure to see HerrBocrite in some anal pain.

Yay! It's only 489 days until 01/20/09!

Classic schadenfreude from the left.

Herb

Look at the states that voted for Bush, look at their education, literacy rates, and income figures. Dumb states that can't read and earn less voted for Bush.

OOOOH! It's the ol' "carry water for the pope" AND "Classic schadenfreude from the left" hairy chestnuts.

Ding!!Ding! Ding!

Both in one day! Wowza!

Your arrogance toward the American public will only come back to haunt you. I eagerly look forward to 2008.

American voters don't like elitists.

Herb

"American voters don't like elitists."

You're so right! The great majority of them despise the current one in the Oval office.

So we'll see who's licking their sphincter, "eagerly" or not in 412 days. I really doubt it will be me.

"I eagerly look forward to 2008."

Is this the same eager anticipation you had waiting for the drubbing the "Defeatocrats" would take in 2006? Your prognostication track record is pretty lame.

Herr Herb...
YOUR elitism shows in EVERY thread you type in. Your way IS the only way. Admit it!!!! Your EXTREME thinking is the way or the highway... COME ON! Admit it....
Elitists are the very people that YOU voted into office for a 2nd term. A majority voted him into office. But just because it's popular doesn't make it good....
You need to RETHINK your statements before you submit them. It would make you look more like a human being and less like the lock step EXTREMEIST that you are.

I don't buy global warming.
I'm glad Saddam and Zarqawi are no longer killing innocents.
I'm pro-second amendment.
I'm pro-life.
So on those issues, Mr. Bush is fine.

I'm no fan of NAFTA, GATT or the WTO.
I'm no fan of big tobacco.
I don't carry water for the AMA or the insurance lobby.
I'm for better border security.
On those issues, I disagree strongly with the current administration.

The above statements illustrate that you are incorrect. I am anything but 'lockstep' with the Bush administration. The only ones lockstep around here are leftist posters who agree with George Soros and MoveOn.commie.

Herb

Herr Herb said>>
The only ones lockstep around here are leftist posters who agree with George Soros and MoveOn.commie.

And that would be??? Names please... Proof....

Herb, did you hear the Rubert Murdoch believes in global warming?

I believe in Global warming, I just don't think it is necessarily bad. The earth on average, is getting a little warmer, but historically that goes in cycles.

Where I have doubts, is, is it being caused by the actions of humans, and even if it is, is it bad?

Herr Herb...
I'm waiting for names...

Look in a mirror, Trixter.

You buy into the libs' arguments more often than not.

Be careful, because the gun-grabbers are coming for your 2nd amendment rights...and they ain't Republicans. They're socialists, also known as democrats.

Herb

Herb, I'll bet you look forward to 2008 like a cancer patient looks forward to chemo. Either you are completely in denial, similar to Rove and Bush the night before the 2006 election, or you are just too chicken to admit the real truth that you know in your heart the GOP is going to lose numbers in both houses and likely the oval office. The jig is up.

I don't know about Herb, but I am looking forward to the election, especially if Hillary or Obama, and best of all both. Are on the Demo ticket.

If that is the case I really like the republicans chance to win the Presidency and both houses back.

I think that Hillary on the democratic ticket will hurt their chances for victory. They need to kick Hillary to the curb and put a realistic candidate in the running. Hillary will even give a strong Inde a decent shot at the presidency. (Nothing wrong with a good Moderate in that role mind you)!

I would be afraid if the left was strong on terror. Then they might squeek through.

Naw, the writing's on the wall. It's gonna be great in 2008. And it's because the world is a dangerous place. We live in a post-9/11 world. The American public will vote for conservatives and against terror.

Whine on, commies.

Herb

You know that's insulting right Herb? While I don't share all of you're views I share some and for you to call me a Commie and then an ally is sort of Hypocritical ain't it? Ease up on the commie, pinko, leftist shit would ya! IT's GETTING OLD and TIRED!

"The American public will vote for conservatives and against terror."

Not true. This did not happen in 2006, and I would say that feelings are even more anti-GOP now than back then, so you guys really have your work cut out for you. Even respectable conservatives like Newt have admitted so and know that more losses are on the way.

Ok, Darktemper. Point well made. Besides, you're hardly the whining type, anyway.

Herb

"...respectable conservatives like Newt..."

He may be respectable to you, but anyone who divorces his wife whilst she's fighting cancer on a hospital bed is hardly respectable.

Herb

The real terror will be if there are enough fools in the US to elect that bimbo for president.

While I don't like him either, I'd take Obamma over the @itch!

The WHOLE country is going to take a reaming right up the ol pooper if that good for nothing socialist bimbo is elected. (Not to mention turning our wallets inside out)

Personally I hold the American people in higher regard than that. I really don't think they are that stupid.

Unhappy with Bush yes. Moronically stupid, no.

When I used the term respectable, I meant in the sense that Newt has a pretty good pulse on reality and politics, and he happens to be conservative. He's a tell it like it is kind of guy. His private life is another story. I don't agree with him on a lot of issues, but I do think he's a smart man, and I think he's right when he warns head-in-the-sand people like Sean Hannity that the GOP is in serious trouble next election.

Herr Herb said>>>
Look in a mirror, Trixter.

JHC! You've got to be kidding me???

Herb calling people names said>>>
Whine on, commies.

Okay Nazi. Lock step all you want. And when your FASCIST butt is on the outside looking in because AMERICA is TIRED... Oh so GD tired of your EXTREME ways it will be nobody's fault but YOURS!
Whine on FASCIST NAZI HARDLINER

Hey Trixter...I hammered him on it to and, well take a look:
Me:
http://feedback.pdxradio.com/show.cgi?tpc=2186&post=200503#POST200503
Herb's response:
http://feedback.pdxradio.com/show.cgi?tpc=2186&post=200516#POST200516

I think if we can compromise and drop the Nazi Herr Herb thing he may reciprocate with dropping the lefty, commie, pinko remarks.

Whadda ya say, lets give it a try for one week AY!

Get a jar and for every offense stick a dollar in it, after one week give that money to Dornbeckers.

BTW Herb, even if I was a whiner when you call someone a leftist in a derogatory manner you speak it to everyone that is tilted that way

I'll give Trixter this much: He's not used the term Neo-Con, or an excess amount of CAPS for a few days now.

Herb

I'll give Herr Herb this much... He hasn't called anyone a name in 15 minutes...

DT said>>>
I think if we can compromise and drop the Nazi Herr Herb thing he may reciprocate with dropping the lefty, commie, pinko remarks.

Isn't going to happen DT. SORRY! Herr Herb can't stop slinging mud. Muckrakers can't stop!

Look at yourself, Trixter.

Herr Herb? Who's the muckracker slinging mud?

You have far less credibility than those whom you slander.

Herb

I tend to agree. Mocking someone's name is leaning toward the juvenile.

Eileen. That's my real name.

;^)

Hunh?

That's funny.

I named my three legged cow "Eileen". She is on a strict diet and will have a name change soon to "Lean Beef".

HA

A lady with one leg shorter than the other: Eileen.

A Japanese lady with one leg shorter than the other: Irene.

Speaking of Cows, it is said that cows farting are a big part of global warming.

I want everybody to know that I'm doing my part. I eat as much beef as I can! Mmmmmmoooooo!

Maybe the next presidential candidate could have the slogan "Help Stop Global Warming; A Cow in Every Freezer"!

Come on Eileen,
I swear (well he means) At this moment you mean everything,
With you in that dress my thoughts I confess verge on dirty
Ah come on Eileen.

I'm falling (over) for you!

Herb said>>>
Look at yourself, Trixter.

Herr Herb? Who's the muckracker slinging mud?

You have far less credibility than those whom you slander.

Socialist, Commie, Pinko??? JHC Herb think about it.... use your head for something besides banging in 10 penny nails with.

Trixter, if you don't want to be labeled a socialist, then don't support their positions.

Herb

Well, just because I don't conform to YOUR EXTREME ways in no way shape or form makes me a Socialist. Sorry your thinking is so screwed up.
Oh how far the EXTREME RIGHT has fallen....