Employer: “In this job we need someone who is responsible.”

Applicant: “I’m the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible.”



What Zingers have you heard or worse SAID during a job interview?

Not in an interview, but in an annual review;

"This employee should go far. And the sooner he starts the better"!

"I think working for this company will fit me well, until I find a REAL job."

Or, how about right after you have the job and HR has more stuff to fill out?

Me: "So, is there a reason why this form asks my race?"

HR: "It is to ensure diversity. We are proud of our diversity."

Me: "Oh, I get it. So you have minimum quotas to meet, and this covers your behind, right?"

HR: "It really isn't a big deal."

Me: "No, I suppose it isn't such a big deal to you folks, but the fellow that hired me is the only Black guy I have seen in three weeks, and you hide him in the basement."

HR: "I am not sure I like your tone."

Me: "I am not sure I like the job, or the way you folks do business, but for him, not corporate, I will keep busting my tail."

HR: "So, you just checked 'Other' and wrote, 'Euromutt' -- I assume this means 'Caucasian?'"

Me: "None of my ancestors are from that region. Do you folks know anything about geography?"

HR: "I see, you are just going to make my job difficult."

Me: "Well, I guess you just got a little taste of real work then, now didn't you? If you will excuse me, I have some of that real kind of work to do. Have a pleasant day."

Ah, those brief days at Nordstrom. God, what a pathetic company.

Heard during a recent interview:

Q: What makes this job interesting to you?

A: The paycheck!

10 Things You Don’t Say At A Job Interview


1. I know my resume doesn’t make much sense but I can assure you neither does my life!

2. So your what your telling me is that if I were to get one of my fingers cut off in that big machine over there, I would be able stay home and still receive my pay checks?

3. So what is your company policy about having sex with the other employees… do you encourage it?

4. It’s a good thing I got this interview, the utilities got cut off and I haven’t had a shower for almost three weeks.

5. Say…you’re pretty hot! Do the other female bosses look as good as you do.

6. So what your saying, is that if I were to borrow some of the stores products, even for a week or two, you would consider that stealing?

7. I would just ask that you don’t call any of my references… or my last five employers!

8. Does your company offer a drug treatment program, if I decide to start taking drugs.

9. When you call any of my three references on my resume, you will get a switchboard. Just ask for “Solitary” and get one of the guards to drop a message.

10. I realize it seems odd that I have had only one job lasting only three days in forty-one years, but honestly nothing really jumped out at me!

Oh Yah.....not something you say but please...feel free to remove any visible Body Piercing's prior to your interview! And that six pack for lunch right before your 1:00 interview...probably not a good idea!

I've had a couple of interesting ones with people I was interviewing.

For a sales job: "I can hunker down if I really have to".

For an office job: Me: Do you have anything you'd like to ask me"? Interviewee: "Yes what's the vacation and time off policy?".

Neither got the job.

Hah I inherited a guy at my stores downtown who thought he was king shit, management material ... and he was hired "to be the manager" (so he told me).

When I finally fired him for checking sick 30 minutes before his shift via text message (this after writing him up for doing the same thing 15 minutes before his shift the week before, KNOWING that if he pulled that crap again, he was gone) I told him that he was fired for not doing it at least two hours before his shift. He responded, "Well geez, at least it wasn't 15 minutes before my shift!"

Some people just don't get it.

I have only had to fire a person once and that was at KCYX. We had a weekend shift open up and the choices were "bad" and "very bad." Well I hired bad hoping he'd become "okay". He became "really bad."

Deane kindly asked me to let him go. The hardest thing I have ever done. Had to deal with the puppy eyes and acne scene and "I'll try harder honest I will." Good kid....very bad DJ.

I once had a guy working for me, he was absent at least 10% of the time, and when raise time came, I gave hin a 2% raise, he told me, "Thats unacceptable", I replied, just show up for work, and you will be making 10% more.