Got into an interesting discussion at work on this. Some of the differences between the two:

-in the country, many of your friends are living where you are

-in the city, one gets to pick and choose

-the need to belong is stronger and more unified in the country (small town syndrome)

the biggie:

-sense of entitlement higher in the city than country.

On that last one, I've noted my kids and their peer group appear to be far more focused on what they can get, time with friends, etc... than my peer group in the country was. This is the entitlement syndrome and it kind of sucks where parenting is concerned.

A great example is having to just nag, nag, nag, threaten death, etc... when it comes to family chores. My own personal experience was double the chores and not that much nagging had to occur. One just did these things as they needed to be done. No matter what, I've never been able to instill this particular ethic in the kids.

If I had it to do over, I may well choose a more rural setting for raising kids, given my experiences in the city. I'm sure the current times are a factor, but not completely sure it's the primary one.

Thoughts, experiences?

"A great example is having to just nag, nag, nag, threaten death, etc... when it comes to family chores. My own personal experience was double the chores and not that much nagging had to occur. One just did these things as they needed to be done. No matter what, I've never been able to instill this particular ethic in the kids."

OMG, that is my experience right now with my 14, 12 and 10 yer olds. Every request to do chores is a complaint about equity ("Why didn't you ask her to...") or requires a justification - as if I have to give my kid an explaination satisfactory to him/her as to why the work needs to be done. Just..DO..IT! My wife and I are pulling our hair out, and dinner prep/cleanup are often shouting fests. Aaaargh....

I'm a big city kid, born in NYC. I thought my cousins on Long Island practically lived on farms. There was a small town down the road called Philadelphia.

What I worry about is the suburbs. I would rather see kids grow up either in the big city, where you have to learn to live around different people and learn to get around by being self-reliant, or in the country, for the reasons Missing_kskd mentioned.

My humble opinion is that the suburbs end up eating kids alive, because their lives are too easy. Too much is provided for them, they end up having easy access to drugs and sex without having other things to keep them busy, and they don't have enough meaningful experiences around extended family or other people.

I believe the sense of neighborhood is greater inside established cities. Suburbs tend to draw people from all over the place, and these days most look exactly the same with the same chain stores, fast food, banks, etc.

In the past couple of years I lived in a modern condo, attractive but plain. Just down the road was an Arby's, White Castle, Steak n Shake, McDonalds, Burger King, Taco Bell, Wendy's, Buffalo Wild Wings, Red Robin, Ruby Tuesday, Blockbuster, Hollywood Video, US Bank, Washington Mutual, BankOne, Dominics (midwest's Safeway), Jewel (midwest's Albertsons), Walgreens, Rite-Aid, Home Depot, Lowes, and three Starbucks. Guess what? All were within about 1 block of each other. All were nicely landscaped, many with nicely manicured lawns in front. The point here is I could drive another mile and see the exact same mix and it would look almost identical. This is suburban america today. It is emotionally and spiritually draining IMHO.

However, I see some hope. Portland's Orenco development seems to be bucking the trend, and hopefully more and more of this type of development will occur. I'm not holding my breath though.

I like the view from my place. When I stand outside and look in any direction all I see are hills and trees. The neighbor on one side on my ten acres has 120 acres and the neighbor on the other side has 40. I can't see either place through the trees. There air is better out there as well! BONUS: Deep well with water that tastes so much better than city water!

But yes, I still have the same problems out there getting my kids to do any chores as everyone else. Why should I have to justify it to them, JUST DO IT!

I live in the suburbs. How do I get that easy access to drugs and sex?

Put a wanted ad on CraigsList!

Hmmm...

Perhaps it's something else, or a bigger combination of things.

Warner, if you gotta ask, you are screwed!

No....he wants to be but isn't!

Born in Stockton CA, but raised in Portland. Lived in SE and attended a K-8 school. Would have gone to Cleveland HS but we moved at the end of my 8th grade year to the burb's. Ended up at Sunset HS.

Urban living had color and character, not just the people but everything.

Today it's Urban living for us. We're close to a park and we can walk to everything. My biggest complaint about country living is you have to drive everywhere.

In our neighborhood we have established great relationships with our neighbors. We've had a couple of family emergencies among the neighbors and people were right there at 3am in the morning helping each other out.

My wife grew up in Wenatchee Washington on 5 acres of cherry orchards. Until she could drive it was walk 2-3 miles to get anywhere including school if you miss the bus. She loves urban living because we have established our own sense of community here. And we've lived here nearly 19 yrs.

I enjoy visiting our country and suburb friends and family but I love community and this suits us great. And our kids DO their chores or NO allowance.