1. Constipated People Don't Give A Shit.

2.Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.

3.If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.

4.Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?

5.If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.

6.Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.

7.If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better. (BRAVO)

8.My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.

9.Thank You For Pot Smoking.

10.To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.

11.If At First You Don't Succeed...blame Someone Else And Seek
Counseling.

12.Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".

13.If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.

14.Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.

15.It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.

16.If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass. (Posting this one by my Desk!)

17.You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me

18.The Earth Is Full - Go Home

19.I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha (Hey....I qualify for this to)

20.This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

21.So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time

22.Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

23.If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?

24.The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name

25.Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway

26.Illiterate? Write For Help

27.Honk If Anything Falls Off (This one gotta be on Timberfakes YUGO fo sure)

28.Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes

29.He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit

30.I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person

31.You! Out Of The Gene Pool! (SO, SO True)

32.I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To

33.Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?

37.If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...

38.Fight Crime: Shoot Back! (NWOKIE's bumper sticker for sure)

39.If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...[Seen Upside Down,
On A Jeep]

40.Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.

41.Guys: No Shirt, No Service Gals: No Shirt, No Charge [Reported To Be Seen On A Restaurant] (Sho Nough)

42.If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?

43.Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.

44.Ax Me About Ebonics

45.Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel

46.Boldly Going Nowhere (Hey! I think I seen this one on Fatboys "ShuttleCraft"!)

47.Cat: The Other White Meat

48.Caution - Driver Legally Blonde!

49.Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That

50.Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends

51.Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window

52.How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?

53.If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.

54.Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch

55.Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!

56.My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.

57.GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.

58.All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.

59.Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.

60.I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

61.WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

62.BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.

63.So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious.

64.I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?

65.Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

One I saw, in the car with my ex-wife shortly after we broke up:

"I'm not fuckin' stupid ... but I used to."

I saw it and laughed. Uncontrollably.

She slapped me so hard I STILL feel it.

Heck, I couldn't help myself!

That one is fricking awesome! Bet it could make a mint on cafeexpress!

"f**k the karma bucket"

That's mine, soon to be on the car!

I make little crib notes on item #7, 16, 19, 27, 31, 38, 41, and 46! You guys see any associations with PDXRADIO members that I did not list?

Seen on a Toyota Land Cruiser:

Jeep Rescue Vehicle

A true statement BTW!

If you are close enough to read this, you are 5 seconds away from needing an airbag!

I Brake For ... Shit, No Brakes!

Dog is My Copilot.

UNIONS - The Folks Who Brought You Weekends

Re-Elect Oregon's Leading Democrat: MORSE (I saw this vintage sticker downtown last year; wonder where I can get one?)

(Reported in Anchorage) If You're Going To Ride My Ass, You Could At Least Pull My Hair

Do Not Climb On Or Inside This Container (swiped from a Dumpster)