So I couldn't help but laugh at the title of Pink's new single "just you and your hand tonight". In a nutshell the song talks about how the guy is not getting action tonight, SO looks Like its masturbation for him tonight. I can only think of a few other songs about masterbation and they are "dancing with myself" By Billy Idol.
What are some Crazy song titles that came out in the past 50 years that made you go WTF? Lets hear em. They don't necessarly have to be songs about "monkey Spanking", they can be songs with crazy song titles that were a bit odd when they first came out.

"BABY got back" by Sir Mix a lot drew a TON of controversy when it first came out in the early 90's. While it seems tame by todays standards, it was shocking and offesive when it first came out. That was about the same time Madonna put out "justify my love" which could only be played on Mtv after midnight because the video was too sexually explicit.

Lets not forget "Me so Horny" By 2 Live Crew.
I can just see Tipper Gore's daugheter Chacity asking her Mom Tipper if she could buy the new 2 Live Crew Cd. Pure comedy!

"Big Balls" from AC/DC. That is a classic!

Turning Japanese (Vapors), Relax (Frankie Goes To Hollywood), She Bop (Cyndie Lauper), Long view (Green Day)

What!?!?

Nobody's mentioned Jackson Browne's classic ode to self gratification and pink palms, "Rosie"?

But Rosie you're all right
You wear my ring
When you hold me tight
Rosie, that's my thing
When you turn out the light
I've got to hand it to me
Looks like it's me and you again tonight, Rosie

Good one Merkin!
I also forgot that "she bop" By Cindi Lauper is about masterbation.

Is that how Rosie O'Donnel got her name?

Courtney Love says that the song "heart shaped box"by Nirvana was written about her "heart shaped box" **Cough** Vagina.

You know this is a fun subject, but in the past the titles were somewhat non-descript. But, "you and your hand tonight"? Have we entered into a new era here? And is this a GOOD thing? (As in, mommy, what do they mean...you and your hand?) Atleast the other titles you could explain away to an 8-year old.

Its called PARENTING Redford, maybe some parents should start being PARENTS and monitor what their kids are listening to instead of blaming the media!

Hey, no disagreement about parental responsibility here, Bunsofsteel. But even the best parents cannot prevent kids from hearing hit songs. In that sense, yes the media IS to blame! And BTW, these same issues were brought up in the 1960's. How many parents prevented their kids from hearing the music?

Hey, how about "I Touch Myself" by the Divinyls?

And speaking of parenting, I highly recommend having a chat with your pre-teen or early teenage kids about masturbation. If we don't want our children experimenting with unsafe sex, reducing guilt about masturbation is a good thing.

I've seen a few interviews with Pink, and I very much like her attitude and opinions for young women about not buying into the media ideal and the Britney-Paris-Lindsay crap. This song is actually more about being a stong woman and a put-down for resisting a pack of drunk guys than masturbation.

So while I wouldn't want Baby M to hear this for quite a few years (like 18), I agree with Pink's message, if not 1 of the words for tender ears (who've heard it by junior high anyway).

U & UR Hand

Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh

Check it out
Going out
On the late night
Looking tight
Feeling nice
It's a cock fight
I can tell
I just know
That it's going down
Tonight
At the door we don't wait 'cause we know them
At the bar six shots just beginning
That's when dickhead put his hands on me
But you see

I'm not here for your entertainment
You don't really wanna mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink, just gimme the money
It's just you and your hand tonight

Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh
Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh

Midnight
I'm drunk
I don't give a fuck
Wanna dance
By myself
Guess you're outta luck
Don't touch
Back up
I'm not the one
by-bye
Listen up, it's just not happening
You can say what you want to your boyfriends
Just let me have my fun tonight-aight

I'm not here for your entertainment
You don't really wanna mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Before it began
Keep your drink, just gimme the money
It's just you and your hand tonight

Uh uh uh uh uh uh uh oh
Break break break break
Break it down

In the corner with your boys you bet up five bucks
To get at the girl that just walked in but she thinks you suck
We didn't get all dressed up just for you to see
So quit spilling your drinks on me yeah

You know who you are
High five and talkin' shit, but you're going home alone arentcha?

'Cause I'm not here for your entertainment (No)
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second (Just stop and take a second)
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over (Know it's over)
Before it began
Keep your dream just give me the money
It's just you and your hand tonight (It's just you and your hand)

I'm not here for your entertainment (No no no)
You don't really want to mess with me tonight
Just stop and take a second (Just take a second)
I was fine before you walked into my life
Cause you know it's over
Before it began
Keep your dream just gimme the money
It's just you and your hand tonight

Do you really think AC/DC was talking about parties with this song:

Big Balls

Im ever upper class high society
Gods gift to ballroom notoriety
I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
The social pages say Ive got
The biggest balls of all

Chorus:
Ive got big balls
Ive got big balls
And theyre such big balls
Dirty big balls
And hes got big balls
And shes got big balls
But weve got the biggest balls of them all

And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody cums and cums again
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says Ive got
Great balls of fire

Chorus

Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when theyre held for pleasure
Theyre the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
Its my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night

Chorus

And Im just itching to tell you about them
Oh we had such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish...

Ball sucker

I don't know if this fits this catagory but how about "me and my arrow" by harry nilsson?

Here is a really big swollen list of songs about self-pleasuring "as deliberately intended by their lyricists."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_songs_about_masturbation

It's HUGE! Enjoy!

"Ham on the Bone" by GWAR

Sounds like one "Ham Fisted" HERB could relate with! LMAO

Left off the list:

Everybody's Makin' It Big But Me
By Dr. Hook

"They got groupies for their bands and all I've got is my right hand
And everybody's makin' it big but me"

http://www.twin-music.com/azlyrics/d_file/songs/drhook/everybody.html

It looks like devo and korn lead in the masturbation songs tally. figures. both korn and devo have the sex appeal of a mormon church elder.

(I apologize in advance to mormonites even though the statement is factually correct.)

Back to Pink, I also applaud her and "Get her". While I'm not a huge fan of her music I totally understand where she is coming from.
She is a total Rocker and in interviews have said publicly that "get the party started" was one of the dumbest songs she has ever recorded, if not ever. She was discovered by LA REID and he tired to turn her into a a R and B Diva making pop songs that 12 year old girls love. Shes one of those cases where someone gets a hold if you, markets you, tells you what kid of music you will be making, and how you will dress and act in pubic. That has got to suck! She is slowly rebelling from the Record Company Crapola and stating to make the kind of music she wants to make but is still very limited on the type of music she can make.

"Donald and Lydia" from John Prine talks about onanistic synchronicity.

"Pictures of Lily" by the Who is wistful about puberty. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHfEeKvK44M

Courtney likes the "Heart Shaped Box" story because it refers to her crotch, and obfuscates the more substantiated story that she kept her rig in a candy box, and kept her talented husband hooked.

John Prine - April 20 at the Schnitz!