Ho Boy....this should get interesting

Here is pair to start off with seeing as it is 2fer Tuesday:

One who stand on toilet, High on Pot
Man who fart in church, sit's in own PEW

And a bonus one from Merkin:

Author: Mrs_merkin
Tuesday, February 06, 2007 - 5:29 pm


Man who go through turnstyle sideways going to Bangkok.

Confucius say, man who run before bus get tired.
Confucius say, man who run behind bus get exhausted.

Man who sleep with itchy ass, wake up with stinky finger!

Many man smoke but Fu Manchu.

Woman who fly upside down have crackup.

Man who live in glass house should not get stoned

I Googled Confucius Sayings and came up with a good site.

Ooops....I read through the rest of them and decided it would be best to delete the ones I put here and the link. I'll find a better one!

Best way to prevent hangover is to stay drunk.

Man who sneezes without tissue takes matters into his own hands.

War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.

A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.

Passionate kiss like spider web ... lead to undoing of fly.

Woman who cooks beans and peas in same pot very unsanitary.

Man who lose key to girls apartment not get new key.

He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.

Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.

He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.

Elevator smell different to midget.

Here's one I heard on the Dean Martin show a loooong time ago;

Man who speak with forked tongue leave terrible hickey.

Why I can remember that but not what I had for lunch yesterday is beyond me!

The old baseball one:

Man with four balls cannot walk.

Man who eats photo of father, spitting-image of father.

Man who take sleeping pill and laxative on the same night will wake up in deep sh*t.

Wise man never play leapfrog with unicorn. (OUCH)

Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails.

Squirrel who runs up woman's legs not find nuts.

Confucius say, virginity like bubble. One prick - all gone.

Confucius say, woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

Confucius say, man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night.

Confucius say, do not drink and park, accidents cause people. (LOL)



And lastly for our friends among us on the mic side of things just remember:

Confucius say, man with big mouth beware of foot!

News Flash.........

This just in:

Hotel laundry service in chinatown was destroyed by a Tornado, owner could not be located, said to be 40 sheets to the WIND! LOL