Having an occassional social drink is great BUT there are definate problems for those that overdue it!

For example:

Things that are downright impossible to say when you’re drunk:

Thanks, but I don’t want to have sex.
Nope, no more booze for me.
Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
Good evening officer isn’t it lovely out tonight.
Oh, I just couldn’t.
No one wants to hear me sing.
Sorry I’m being such a jackass.

Then there is the Mildly Bad hangover:

Life sucks. Your head is throbbing. You can’t speak too quickly or else you might puke. Your boss has already lambasted you for being late and has given you a lecture of reeking of booze. You wore nice clothes, but that can’t hide the fact that you only shaved one side of your face. For the ladies, it looks like you put your make-up on while riding the bumper cars. Your eyes look like on big red vein, end even you hair hurts. Your sphincter is in perpetual spasm, and the first of about five shits you take during the day brings water to the eyes of everyone who enters the bathroom.

And of course the KILLER hangover:

You have a second heartbeat in your head, which is actually annoying the employee who sits in the next cube. Vodka vapor is seeping out of every pore and making you dizzy. You still have toothpaste crust in the corners of your mouth from brushing you teeth in an attempt to get the remnants of the poop fairy out. Your body has lost the ability to generate saliva so your tongue is suffocating you. Any attempt to defecate results in a fire hose like discharge of alcohol-scented fluid with a rare floater thrown in. The sole purpose of the floater seems to be to splash the toilet water all over your ass. Death sounds pretty good about right now.

Now is it really worth all of that?

HECK YA.....everyone needs to cut loose once in a while and make an ass out of themselves.....what else is there to do at the company christmas party in front of your boss or at a new years bash?

So I ask you......
Are you a social drinker or an excessive drinker?
Be Honest now.....we won't tell anybody!!!
Won't need to cause when you are drunk you will tell them yourself!!! LOL

How about, what was I doing officer? want a beer?

Or:
You know why I pulled you over?

Nope...HIC...but ish a good ting yoo did cauz I gotshta whiz......

Or after giving your wife a sexy piece of lingerie, comment, but honey, it looked great on the model.

LOL!!!

That is brutal.

Me, occasional drinker. Few times per year --sporadic. I've only had a coupla hangovers total. It's not worth it!

The problem with getting drunk is the beer goggles. You will sleep with anybody and everybody (kinda what Freddie Mercury Did! HA!)
Think of all of those unplanned pregnancies from being DRUNK!

NWOKIE! You are a brave man, Im surprised your wife didn't pull a "Lorana Bobbit" on you for saying such words.

Not a drinker for 18 years. And I don't miss it. The money I have saved.

darktemper, is item #1 in your list above before marriage?!!

Sorry....Just had to stir the pot!!!

For the definition of "Beer Goggles" see this link; http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2749757251349083641&pr=goog-sl

Author: Skybill
Friday, December 22, 2006 - 12:07 am


"darktemper, is item #1 in your list above before marriage?!!"

Hunh?
Call me dumb but don't quite get your question.
Don't know if this is the answer you seek but two people should really know each other before tying the knot or tying one on together but with the latter you usually do!

BTW....I love that commercial...have posted it here before as well! Some great Europeon commercials out there that you would never see in the states!

I have always had a bad habit, of engaging mouth, before engaging brain.

Once yold a young, female sergeant working for me. "If womeone tells you to hall ass, your gonna have to make two trips".

and I once asked an EEO (Equal opportunity Office" officer (female capt), when we started getting female pilots, and were being briefed on how we should behave, etc. "Capt, once we get female pilots, can we still call the place they sit in the airplane, the cockpit?".

I got counseled about that by a lot of people.

Sorry for this in advance but I just thought of a good addition to the mental malfunction that Nwokie had!

Kind of gives a whole new meaning to who gets to handle the joystick doesn't it?

LMAO

I suspect we've got some good stories coming from Brianl and Nwokie, if we can coax them out one at a time!

I'm laughing with you (hopefully you are laughing today nwokie) on that blunder. Talk about inserting foot fully!

I was always pretty good at social drinking, but was a total pothead for several years there and got clean and sober thru AA. No alcohol or drugs in my life now.

You know it is actually more fun to stay sober at a major party and just sit back and watch people start to grow long ears and sprout tails and become total jackass's! That is way more fun than doing it to yourself....and the best part is you can do or say anything you want to them cause they won't remember it the next day!

If consumption of alcohol were a competitive sport I would be a multiple time champion. If ti were an Olympic relay event I am sure me and my sibliings would be medal winners.

I get very angry if bartenders make weak drinks, as well as bartenders who cannot master the simplest cocktails like Long Island Iced Teas. I get pissed when bar owners raise their drink prices so exorbant that it is cheaper to drink at an airport or hotel lounge. Fuck you Vicki Chapman!!!

Or the rare occasions when I am undecided about what to buy at the liqour store and I end up being the one with more knowledge on their inventory than they do.

Finally when I misjudge the amount of liqour it is gonna take for me to get smashed, and the next morning when I am hungover and I am out of my favorite hangover remedy because I smoked all my dope the night before.

/You won't find miseltoe hanging from my door only a large leafy green bud. And fuck festive drinks like egg nog. All we really need is the Maker's Mark Bourbon. Now that is some NOG and all without the trouble of the EGG.

Merry Fuckin Christmas

Hey Darktemper, You know whats even more fun???
Being the sober susan and going to a Company Christmas party with a mini disk player, THAN playing what you recorded ON THE AIR, the next day. Makes for great radio!

"darktemper, is item #1 in your list above before marriage?!!"

Hunh?
Call me dumb but don't quite get your question.
Don't know if this is the answer you seek but two people should really know each other before tying the knot or tying one on together but with the latter you usually do!

Darktemper, it was a reach, but I was referring to the other thread where everyone is extolling the virtues and vices of premarital sex.....

Sorry for the confusion. It was late and my brain was tired! It has nothing to do with spending time on the roofs of buildings in the near field of transmitting antennae!!!

#1 can happen at any time.....you just can't say no drunk or sober!