This from MSNBC.com:

Secret to marital bliss? Don't have kids.

Couples' satisfaction declines after birth of first child, eight-year study finds.

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/30138330/

And this study doesn't even take into consideration The Economy, which is dumping even more stress into the equation!

Depends on the couple.

I wonder how much of the dissatisfaction is directly related to the common decline in sexual activity in married couples after the birth of a child.

I have known my sweetheart since 1988.
We have a really smart cat.
All 3 of us are happy.

"Depends on the couple."

Absolutely.

I'm not going to poo-poo it for those of you who have been with your spouse/partner for many years. Not an institution I am a fan of ...

Met my better half as a Junior in high school, been together 29, married 24, 3 great kids. Kids don't ruin a marriages bliss, they just change things.

I've learned to count to 10 really fast.......10

My daughter even taught me how to count to 100 very fast....1 2 skip a few...99 100.

>>they just change things
This is what I think...obviously having kids is a natural outcome in marriage. Darktemper said it for me...strong discipline that you and your spouse are on the same page with will raise a pretty good kid whose "acorn has not fallen far from the tree" as in my 2 kids...very blessed.

>>I've learned to count to 10 really fast.......10
never used the counting thing...if the kid disobeys...correction in order now...

I can see that in today's hurry up, rush rush, pedal to the metal mentality that younger parents probably don't spend enough quality time with their children and use electronic babysitters far to much. As a reslut when the child becomes a problem and gets into trouble, and they will, that is when the bliss goes away very fast. Take the time and give your children the time with you they deserve, it makes a difference!


On a side note, are you an aggressive driver in your daily commute? On your way home at night do you drive the fast lane, get mad at people for not taking up that extra 50 feet of space to the car in front of them, weave in and out of traffic just to get two cars ahead? Drive home one day as you normally would and when you land in the driveway take your pulse and try and evaluate your mood at that time.....aggitated, anxious, angry. Then the next day stay out of the fast lane, extend your stopping distance, let people merge in front of you instead of cutting them off, etc. etc. and when you land at home that night take your pulse and again evaluate your mood. Lets say your drive is 25 miles, I will bet the second day your mood is far better, your pulse is lower, and you only arrive home 2 minutes later than you normally would. When you walk in the door at night, the mood you carry in with you pretty much sets the tone for that evening. Would you rather be frustrated and rant about idiot drivers or in a good mood and find out how your kids day was at school?

BTW, that counting to ten thing was not for the kids, it was for me! When I first started with kids and felt my patience dwindling, i'd count to 10 and simmer a little.

21 years here for my wife and I at the end of the month. And speaking of kids...

Yesterday was our daughter's sweet 16 birthday. She indicated to my wife that quote: "Don't tell dad this but, if he wanted to embarrass me today would be okay." Somehow that slipped out of my wife's mouth.

It was just the confirmation I needed of an already planned surprise for her. Having got permission from her Literature teacher and the principle of her school, my dad and I entered our daughters high school around 11 am Thursday dressed as clowns.

Now you need to understand one thing. Among the many talents and gifts my father has, being a clown is simply one of his greatest. But he is not some kind of circus clown, but a relational clown. Everything is done in mime. Having been taught by both he and my mother, dawning a clown outfit was not new to me.

After passing the security guard's skepticism we signed in at the office and were escorted down the hallways of the school.

Eventually we were escorted to our daughters classroom and unbeknownst to them I entered the room and pronounced our presence using a kazoo as my communicator. From there my dad worked his magic as many in the room stood shocked by this scene.

Another point to keep in mind, our daughter took a clowning class from my dad and had as recently as a few weeks ago clowned at Legacy Emmanuel hospital with my dad. So having clowns in her classroom wasn't as nearly as shocking to her as it was to her classmates.

At one point our daughter said, "this is my grandfather and dad." Of course in our clown outfits we non-verbally denied this.

The most meaningful moment that few understood was when my father as a gift to his granddaughter pulled out of his basket a small plastic box with the name "Wrinkles" on it. Wrinkles was my mother's clown name. In that small plastic box was the nose my mom wore when she and dad clowned together for nearly 30 years. Our daughter did a pretty good job of holding her emotions together. I, on the other hand and under my red nose was an emotional mess.

By the time we left a small group of other faculty and some students had filled the hallway leading into the classroom to see the commotion.

This is what a legacy means. My dad passing the torch to my daughter who understood the deep family significance of the moment. This is why being a father, even on the days I don't feel like a good father, even through those moments where I'm the most difficult person in the world to live with...it's a moment shared with family, like this one, that makes me proud and honored to be a dad.

Parenthood is not for everyone, and it can be challenging, but when you can make your kids day, it's so worth it.

Tonight while attending a deeply meaningful Good Friday service with my father, I thanked God for my mother and the influence she had on her only granddaughter.

entered our daughters high school around 11 am Thursday dressed as clowns

I can pretty much assure parents NOT to do this if your kids are still in middle school!

Skep. Very true. Need to know your audience.

Chris, that is amazing.

I think that society could really learn from the example you set forth with your family, on how to be a family ...

Truly amazing. Good for you.

Brian- Thank you. I know I have been fortunate to have had parents who took an interest in us kids. We were cherished and considered precious to them.

We are certainly not a perfect family by any means, but having parents proactive in our lives has influenced me to do the same.

The more I live and get to know people and find out about their family backgrounds I realize how blessed I have been and I certainly don't take that for granted.

One small side note. Our daughter let the classroom know that she has her school life and then there is this entirely different life she as at home. The kids that had pigeon-holed her as one type of person are now scratching their heads trying to figure her out. She is very much like her father that way.

As of this writing, I'm not married and I'm sure I don't want to put up with having kids later on in life. However, one thing's for sure, it's obvious how things many in this country are seeking like financial security, healthy foods, quality neighborhoods, etc., get thrown out the window due to the mandatory spending required for upkeep of kids, forcing other issues to be reduced to the lowest common denominator and such. Only a small fraction of the populace is able to provide a good living for their entire family, including their kids.

I'm not 100% sure that I agree with everything on the following website, but I heard about this one a few weeks ago and think there's some good points on it:
http://vhemt.org/

It looks like your wife can forget all about that job she was going to get, keeping government secrets. Now, not only do you know all about it but so does the entire world!

This is what I think. Just be grateful that we were all once kids that put up with our upbringing to where we can be here to discuss this all...HAPPY EASTER!

Married with kid and enjoying life!

Married, no kids... but we have 14 cats! Today's my wife's birthday and we always give a card "from the kitties".... but it's become increasingly difficult to remember all the names when it's time to sign the card. Oy.

I've heard that once you own more than 8 cats, you can be officially classified as "Crazy Cat Lady" (or Guy).

Just sayin'

Having children always adds stress ot a marriage, no matter how much you want children or love them.

Thing is how do you handle the stress. And how much time did you have " Married with no children" ? We waited 3 years.

You make sure you have adult time, and make friends with kids also. That way, larger get togethers are possible, and everybody takes turns relaxing.

I love cats. They relieve stress too. I've one or two that I wake up to each morning. My wife and I really enjoy ours. The two that end up in bed have been with us for a while. They are always somewhere close. Great companions.

Married to third husband for 36 years, #2 is deceased (two children by him, now 40 & 39), #1 is 82 years old, married with two sons in NJ and still going, as far as I know.

"Current" husband and I have raised five children the best way we knew how. I was a *bonus mother to three children from husband's first marriage. His first wife died of cancer.

From this vantage point, I can see that my 50 year broadcasting life would have been much different with all of the possibilities:

* Stayed single until 69? Probably not possible.
* Married with no children? Yes, it might have been. But pretty much everyone was marrying in the 1950s! By the late 60s, I already had two kids.
* Divorced raising two children along? Possibly. It would have been very costly.

I guess I will stay with my choices. We are now close grandparents to five grandkids. You've seen the bumper sticker:

I WISH I HAD MY GRANDCHILDREN BEFORE HAVING CHILDREN.

*Bonus = "It's a STEP in the right direction!"

See: www.bonusfamilies.com

Not a cat guy. We have guinea pigs and chickens. I don't think quality time is essential with kids, however time is. Sometimes all a kid needs to know is if mom or dad are staying in tonight. You may not actually have any real quality conversation but you're around, and for some kids thats enough.

With younger kids, differently story. It's just flat out time with them. We have videos of me playing with kids when they were in diapers and early grade school. My wife and I marvel that we got any work done at all. The living room was a constant mess. Clients came through the basement door then. On the phone with a client my daughter would yell down the stairs at age 3, "Daddy will come and wipe my butt!!" (Client now laughing on the phone)